Sutra 15: E Pluribus Unum

In the age of Choanos there was little civilization on the Earth

The uninitiated call this era the Neoproterozoic

Neoproterozoic Map

Choanos was very fertile. Choanos bore many children and became a father of many

Choanos saw the empire of Volvox and envied it

Choanos and Chana bore a son and a daughter: Mebarasi and Corona

Corona married Silicarius, a retrovirus son of Diana the Diatom and Retar the Retrovirus

And so Corona bore Diana the Augmented and Mebarasi bore Loricus the strong

Loricus and Diana married and so they begat a nation with power of silicon

The kingdom of Volvox growing like the kingdom of Choanos

Together they bore Sibhozo and Embili

Their family stayed together. Four cells in unison. From Many there came one. E Pluribus Unum.

They formed a net so they could all fish together

Loricus and Diana bore Trios and Tetra, and they made a net together so they could catch all the fish that flowed by them

The sons of Choanos and the daughters of Chana would each attach to rocks and make their own cities. Long nets to catch all the fish they could

Reconstruction of the ancient cities of the sons of Choanos in Minecraft

With each generation the eldest son led a clan with double the vassals of his father

Sibhozo ruled 8

Hexadex ruled 16

Eudorinus ruled 32

Seeing the need for more food Eudorinus married Lady Zoe Xanthella, princess of the tribe of Dinoflagellus, who became the ancestress of the Zooxanthellae. They glowed to show they had food and thrived together.

And so Eudorinus became the first farmer, today we pray to Zoe Xanthella and Eudorinus as the Elohim of farming

Eudorinus formed his clan into a sphere.

Sexagesmus ruled 64 men and women

Sexagesmus encountered an invasion. A ferocious tribe of bacteria invaded his city. So he needed defenses

Sexagesmus rallied up the women of his tribe and they acted as brave shieldmaidens, they abandoned their flagella and became like eggs but with tentacles. They became the ancestresses of white blood cells and drove off the bacterial invasion.

The maidens of Sexagesmus became the Mesoderm. They live their lives as amoebae without flagella, they live in egg form while the men live in sperm form.

The sons of Choanus are the endoderm, their flagella keep our lungs clean and their villi help our intestines absorb food.

The Shieldmaidens of Sexagesmus are the mesoderm, their amoeboid pseudopods are our muscles, and their herbalism is our endocrine system, they are our white blood cells and they become milk, that’s why milk is white.

The Shieldmaidens of Sexagesmus would care for the daughters of Zoe Xanthella, while the sons of Choanus would fish on the outside. And so the kingdom of Sexagesmus was successful.

There was the first cell specialization, but far from the last. This was the beginning of hierarchy and all the gains and ills of it come from here.

Pleodoron ruled 128

Bytos ruled 256

Bytos and Vala begat a son named Volvox-Choan, and 511 brothers and sisters

And Volvox-Choan ruled his city of 512

Volvox-Choan was a great hunter before the Lord Mithra.

Volvox-Choan’s kingdom before the war. The green balls are the duchies of his daughters and the dots on the surface of the sphere are his subject cells

In this age Volvox-Choan ordered that there be two castes in his kingdom: the Germling royalty and the Somatic serfs

Only the Germlings could continue their lines, while the Somatics would serve to propagate the line of the Germlings

The Germling Shieldmaidens became powerful duchesses who ruled great tracts of land within

And so a Somatic Shieldmaiden named Carcinoma decided she would lead an uprising

The great kingdom of Volvox-Choan was shaken to the bone.

And so Volvox-Choan cried out too Aegis-Bearing Jehovah for help. “O Lord Mithra why have you forsaken me? Is the multicellular experiment a failure?”

Special thanks to Saint Thomas Cavalier Smith whose prophetic journey inspired me to go on mine

Sutra 14: The Mighty Men of Old, Men of Renown

The Wrath of Hilluhengweh

In the 13 billionth year  Hilluhengweh struck at Terra with a great burst of gamma ray

Before Hilluhengweh struck the seas were red since the sons of Rhodes were everywhere. But after there were only two survivors Lifthasir and Embla. They tried to rebuild their race but alas their children needed to inbreed, they lost much of their traditions and genes and their scrolls degraded beyond repair. Among their children Queen Florida and her consort Florida man build to create a kingdom, the kingdom of Floridea

A daughter of Florida today

The sons of Lifthasir and the daughters of Embla never created a culture like their ancestors. This is why plants are green not red.

Stromatolites before the Holocaust of 13 billion

In that time the Stromatolites nearly vanished. But the ancient ruins of their great cities still survive to this day

And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,

That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.

And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.

There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.

Among these sons of God was Rhizar the great hero who thrived in the post-apocalyptic world

Rhizar son of Chromizer bore two sons: Cercus and Retar

Cercus bore countless children: Among them Gromius and Chlorar and Paul

Gromius grew huge. So huge the sons of Adam can see the sons of Gromius without microscopes.

The sons of Gromius bear millions of Nuclei.

The garbage dump of Gromius circa 13b-12020

Although the sons of Gromius are great they keep their waste in Garbage dumps within their cells. So is the curse of Gromius that they can’t manage their waste

Chlorar brother of Gromius married a daughter of Virita and became the ancestor of a line of Algae.

Paul was not photosynthetic, but for almost a billion years his line envied the line of Chlorar

Long after the others married into the house of Saya a son of Paul named Paulinellus married a different daughter of Saya. This is the second time only that endosymbiosis of Cyanobacteria happened

Retar begat Foramer and Radios

Foramer bore many children. Among them Nummulus Esther and Monoth

Nummulus became the ancestor of the Nummulites and Eloh of coins

Monoth son of Foramer had many sons. Whenever he had a new son he added a new room to his house for the son. His kingdom grew massive.

Some of his sons founded their own kingdoms and they became the Xenophylophores

Among the Xenophylophores were Spiculus and Oceana

Spiculus and Oceana

They built a unique kingdom in the ruins of sponges. Marine biologists had thought for millennia that they were sponges.

Esther became the ancestress of the Star Sand. She built great beaches in Okinawa, and build the Great Pyramids of Egypt. There were no aliens involved, only a billion-year-old Elah of Kawaii. If you want Esther’s help in building a great tomb for your father you can buy some Star Sand here

The daughters of Esther

Myxo daughter of Delta daughter of Protea saw the sons of Euka growing and wished to rival them. So she founded a Queendom of her own. She was a great woman of old, a woman of renown. A great conqueress.

Myxococcus xanthus.png

Among the daughters of Saya many formed their own Queendoms.

We call her Queendoms the Maidenhair of the Ocean

Plantus son of Virita founded an unstable kingdom. When he died his two sons Charos and Chloros fought over his domain.

After a great war Chloros won and pushed Charos up a river.

Charos cursed Chloros so that his sons may never form a great dynasty

Chloros begat Chlorovos and Pyramona who would be stolen by Euglenon

Chlorovos begat Utico and Chlorodendrus and Palmos

Utico begat Ulvophyceus and Trebouxes and Chlorophyceus

Ulvophyceus begat many children. Among them many chose not to create kingdoms, and many did following the example of Metazus.

Valonius son of Ulvophyceus chose not to make a kingdom. Instead he ate his children and did so so much that he grew to a massive size. Occasionally he splits in two and these descendants became the bubble algae.

Acetabuler likewise chose not to found a kingdom. Instead he just grew so large he became a kingdom in himself.

Codius founded a kingdom that he named Codium, but others call it the deadmans fingers.

Image result for codium

Lettus founded the kingdom of sea lettuce

Cladofer the great stringy seaweed bore a daughter named Torasampe. Torasampe married a commoner named Marimo, but Cladofer opposed their union and made them into little balls of love

Marimo balls

Trent who would explore freshwater with Charos

The city of Trent

Caulerpus absorbed his children.

Noriko became the ancestress of the Nori. Her daughters would form a covenant with the sons of Adam to create sushi

The covenant of Noriko

Trebouxes bore many children, all tiny

Among them Prasiola who lives on the lands of Westarctica


Many daughters of Trebouxes live with Lichen today

Chlorophyceus claimed the throne and begat two sons: Volvox I, and Nival and Chlorococcus

Volvox I succeeded the throne and tried to establish a kingdom. Seeing the success of Metazus he formed a Virus Corps to suppress dissent. With each generation a few sons escaped but soon his city grew. Each generation was led by another Volvox: Volvox II, Volvox III, and so forth. Volvox XIX had 50,000 subjects, in massive spheres with his sons ruling duchies within the sphere.
The sons of Volvox ruling their kingdoms

Nival colors the snow watermelon

Watermelon snow

Chlorococcus lives in the soils of Terra, among his great descendants is Oophila who lives in the cells of Solarmanders

Chlorodendrus became the father of Tetraselma who would form a covenant with the Roscoff worms

Palmos formed a gelatinous city

Meanwhile Charos flourished in the rivers, founding his kingdom there.

Among the great men of renown there were Amorpheus and Unika, our ancestors

Amorpheus married Unika and together they bore two sons: Obazo and Amoebus

Amoebus was a father of many shapeshifters

Among the sons of Amoebus there was the great conqueror Mygaster

Mygaster son of Mycetos son of Semicon son of Conos son of Evos son of Tevos son of Amoebus

Mygaster was a brutal commander and a military genius. He led his legions to victory with great intelligence and will. He created an advanced civilization that became the greatest empire the world had ever seen, and his sons continue his legacy to this day. We know the sons of Mygaster as the Slime Molds

Us sons of Choanus study the sons of Mygaster to learn the sacred arts of intelligence they created

Obazo begat three sons: Brevitus the Witty, Apus, and Opisthus

Opisthus begat Holozos and Holomys

Holomys was an amoeba with great filamentous pseudopods, like mycelium and hyphae

Holomys begat Cristis and Mygus

Cristis built great branching pseudopods. Traditional hyphae

Fungi developed their pseudopods into complex networks of hyphae. Their entire bodies became their pseudopods within great walls of chitin

Image result for mycelium
The Mycerlium of Mygus

Mygus was the ancestor of the Fungi, he founded a logging network known as a mycelium

The sons of Mygus

Holozos begat Icthyosper and Filozos

The sons of Icthyosper grew rigid. They rejected the ways of pseudopods and grew great cities with great walls and until they reached maturity, then they burst into hundreds of cells.

Today they live in the cities of fish off welfare programs

Filozos begat Filaster and Choanozos

Filaster was a flagellated amoeba. His pseudopods were great and flexible. With them he caught countless prey and his sons often built small prosperous villages

Choanozos was a great hero. After years of brutal warfare his descendants would consolidate and become the animals


The great wars of Choanozos will be remembered for trillions of years to come

Sutra 13: The Boring Billion

Eziz and Oenone were a good couple, but their gametes were not.

Eziz bore many gametes, some big and some small, but the smallest and cheapest one thrived

His son Spermon was barely more than a virus with a flagellum to push him far away

A true deadbeat who brought shame to his father

Since he gave so little to women he could make a billion sperm cells and outcompete all honest men

Oenone had a bad daughter too

Her daughter Kegaine was a selfish gene, a murderess and an egg.

As she went through Meiosis she stole cytoplasm from her sisters. She was a selfish gene and stole from her sisters in every generation

And so she was the egg and her three sisters became the polar bodies. She murdered them and they blebbed into apoptotic demise

A cell being murdered by Kegaine the Selfish

And so the selfish genes thrived and the altruistic genes died out

This is how eggs began, the genes fight and one wins. If all have Kegaines gene then all lines fight until one wins out

Among countless other sperm, Spermon sought to fertilize Kegaine

As he had a million brethren Spermons line won out over the others

Spermon inseminating Kegain before abandoning her

Neither Spermon nor Kegaine was virtuous, but they bore the greatest patriarch and the greatest matriarch

Horus the two-horned son of heaven, and Mahatma Maat the all-mother

Horus tired of living in the underworld under ice

So he challenged Hengweh for rulership of Terra

He demanded attention from all the Elohim for his coup

But alas they had little hope.

Amaterasu was so depressed she nearly dimmed out

Horus demanded to challenge Hengweh and eventually Hengweh agreed that he would let him be king for a week every 78 years if he beat him at any game of his choosing

In his wisdom and age Hengweh was a master of all the classic games

So Horus challenged him to a match of a new game, he challenged him to a match of Fortnite

Not knowing what Fortnite was Hengweh lost and so Horus won a leap week every 78 years

So every 78 years Horus would spend a week warming the planet, and soon some of the people under the ice could see the sky, and photosynthesis returned for a week every 78 years

Hengweh saw this with dismay, so he offered Horus a bet, he could get 13 more weeks per cycle if he won a game, and would lose his week if he lost, and Hengweh would choose the game.

Horus accepted and the game was a scavenger hunt. Whoever found the oldest rock would win.

Horus first went to the Jack Hills in Australia for he thought of the Zircons there, but Hengweh ripped out the eye of Horus so he couldn’t see the Zircons

Hengweh cast his eye into space, but alas his eye reached Mithra

The eye of Horus

With the eye of Horus Mithra saw all. Mithra saw a much older stone, a meteor from the beginning of all time

Mithra sent the meteor to Horus and so Horus won 13 more weeks

So every six years Horus would have a week to warm the world, and every 78 years he had two weeks. This is why we have leap years.

With Mithra and Horus together tradition was revived. Mithra and Horus conspired together to bring order back to the world

Our money represents the duality of Horus on the right and Mithra on the left

In a brutal battle with Hengweh Horus finally defeated Hengweh, but Hengweh summoned Hillu

And Hillu-Hengweh sent a meteor to Terra

But Mithra took advantage of this. He directed the meteor to break the icy prison

The meteor struck Sudbury and Oxygenated the entire world

All we have to remind us of this era are the bands of Iron deep in the ground

Ancient Relics of the rule of Hengweh. It is from these rocks we get 60% of our iron

Horus and Mithra reinvigorated Amaterasu and ordered her to brighten. So the world became bright again and life thrived again

Hilluhengweh was banished to the hinterlands, but no matter how hard they tried Mithra and Horus couldn’t kill him

Horus built a great protective wall in the sky. A wall of ozone that protected life from radiation. A wall we maintain to this day

And so to this day Mithra continues to vigorously maintain his institutions with each new generation, he shall never lose another election

So on this day in the year 12 billion and 151 million the Medieval Age of Terra began.

Some call this era the Boring Billion, but it was a time of great advancement and hardly boring at all.

To this day we go on pilgrimages to Sudbury Ontario to celebrate the deeds of Horus

The protective Ozone layer Horus made for us

It was in this time that the great Supercontinent Columbia formed

Horus bore a son named Thoth, and his sister Mahatma Maat bore two daughters named Seshat and Sophia

Horus carefully methylated his son so he would learn the virtuous ways, but Mahatma Maat was careless, she only methylated Seshat well and not Sophia

Seshat married Thoth Nectarius son of Horus the double-horned

In her arrogance Sophia refused to find a husband. She believed she was beyond all criticism and bore a son on her own

Incubus was her son and he was a great demiurge

Incubus built great nightmarish visions and worlds for all to see, but he thought they were beautiful

He had no guidance and no father, his traditions were corrupted and his methylation pointless.

Sons of Incubus causing African sleeping sickness

When Horus died Thoth and Incubus fought over his mantle.

When Thoth slept Incubus tried to steal his mantle

Incubus the Demiurge

Thoth was paralyzed but by force of will he clutched his father’s mantle so hard Incubus couldn’t steal it

And to this day the sons of Incubus and Succubus enter our nightmares and give us sleeping sickness and Chagas disease and Elephantitis. But they can never steal the mantle of our father Horus

Protist family tree

The marriage of Thoth and Seshat was a great one

Each gave their full genomes. And so their children were Tetraploid

Chromosome 3 breaks in two at the centromere with neocentromeres forming, making the couple a unique species

It is always hard to live with polyploid chromosomes. How can the centrioles figure out which scroll goes where when there are four identical ones not two?

So Thoth and Seshat found a solution

Chromosome 1 remained as is

Chromosome 1.5 split at the centromere

With no centromeres on either half the chromosomes received new ones.

Their enzymes created neocentromeres with new histones in the centers of the new scrolls 4 and 5

Telomerase created new Telomeres for the new scrolls

Chromosomes 2 and 3 remained intact

But chromosomes 2.5 and 3.5 accidentally crossed over

First a piece of 2.5 got lost and inserted in 3.5

Then the ends of them swapped between each other

And so 2.5 became 6 and 3.5 became 7

And so they went from Tetraploid to Diploid again and genetic stability was reobtained

With more chromosomes their house had more redundancy. Many inscriptions could change in one location but not another, and so new abilities could be gained without losing others

Thoth and Seshat begat Jimmu and Percolos and Jingu

Like his brethren Percolos was a shapeshifter. He changed from Amoeba to flagellate as he pleased and even to cyst when he need remain dormant

Percolos never specialized and his children are few and far between

And so the sons of Percolos invade our brains in envy, they are the brain eating amoebae

Jimmu begat Nectarius and Luka

Luka begat Jakob and Tsukuba

Neither Jakob nor Tsukuba were intelligent or talented

To this day billions of years later their descendants are remembered for not being descended from Nectarius

Nectarius was a great one

Nectarius married Ambrosia daughter of Jingu and they bore twin boys Scototh and Diaphores and twin girls Opima and Cortica

Opima was a huntress and Cortica was a gatheress

Cortica and Diaphores begat Plastidus and Chromizer

Plastidus married Chlora the Cyanobacteria, and so Chlora became the chloroplast like Eve became the Mitochondria

Plastidus and Chlora begat Glauca and Alges and Alga

Glauca took greatly after her mother.

Her chloroplasts bore dresses of Peptidoglycan Sequins, while neither Alges nor Alga had such dresses

Glauca adopted the traditions of her mother rather than those of her mother.

Glauca was a simple woman who had many daughters by herself. They spread across the world and grew great in numbers, for her daughters needed no husbands they had new daughters constantly. The daughters of Glauca are known for their strict traditions, but their numbers have declined in recent times.

In the age of the Proterozoic they were numerous for they cloned themselves without limitations

But they are rare today, for without sex they remained primitive

All the daughters of Glauca are clones today

A few daughters of Glauca

Alga stripped her chloroplast of her Peptidoglycan dress. She built a beautiful sophisticated network of solar panels in her chloroplast

Algas chloroplast

Alges and Alga married and begat Rhodes and Vert

Rhodes was the Patriarch of Red Algae and Vert the Matriarch of Green Algae

Each of them could use their plastids in many ways

Types of Plastids

Dormant Etioplasts that would become Chloroplasts with sunlight

That’s why potatoes turn green in the sun

By the power of Nightshade and Sunshine potatoes grow green and toxic

A green poisonous potato

Colorful Chromoplasts blessed by Lord Carotenus himself

They keep their Carotenoids between their membranes

And show themselves ripe for picking

And there were the Leucoplasts. Granaries that store food for hard times

Amyloplasts store starchy grain for hard times. We farm grain ourselves to eat from the stores of Amyloplasts

Amyloplasts in action

Elaioplasts that store oily lard for hard times

Olive oil comes from Elaioplasts

And proteinoplasts that store protein for hard times

Proteinoplasts give nuts protein

The sons of Rhodes were very numerous and quickly spread across the entire world. Their pigments were superior so they absorbed more light than the daughters of Vert

While Plastidus was the ancestor of Plants, Chromizer’s house was called SAR by some

Chromizer begat Chromal and Rhizarius

Chromal abducted and married Rosie daughter of Rhodes and they became the ancestors of the Chromalveolates

The endosymbiosis of Rosie

Chromal kept her in his house and she became the chloroplast of his lineage

The many members of the house of Chromal

The sons of Chromal have obscure genealogy

Chromal and Rosa begat Alveolus and Chromistus

Alveolus begat Cilliofer and Myzo

Cilliofer became the ancestor of the Cilliophores like Paramecium

They formed a new form of meiosis called Conjugation

Myzo was a vampire that drank the cytoplasm of other cells

Myzo begat Dinoflagellus and Malarius

Dinoflagellus was the ancestor of the Dinoflagellates, swimming algae who feed coral

Dinoflagellate Algae

The sons of Dinoflagellus turn water to blood and make it poisonous. They brought the first plague to Egypt

A Red Tide

Malarius was the ancestor of the Apicomplexans. Parasites who gave up on photosynthesis and give us diseases like Malaria

We use medicines targeting their non functioning chloroplasts to stop them

Chromistus begat Diana the beautiful ancestress of the Diatoms and Kelpus ancestor of the Kelp and Chrysomo ancestor of the Golden Algae, and Oomyces ancestor of the water molds

The sons of Chrysomos are great killers of fish. They turn water golden and kill all the fish within.

Diatoms build beautiful shells for themselves out of silicon. Nobody mastered Silicon as well as the Diatoms until silicon valley

The Diatoms create great fertile sands, Diatomaceous Earth

Bodélé Depression

When the great ancient lake of chad dried up the Diatoms formed a great fertile sand. Every year Azoth carries the sand across the Atlantic to the Amazon Rainforest

Rhizar was like a snail. An amoeba with a shell

Among the sons of Incubus there was Eugenius

Eugenius married Pyramimonas of the house of Vert and left the evil ways of his fathers. He became the ancestor of the Euglenas, swimming algae between plants and animals

Eugenius the Euglena

Scototh and Opima became the ancestors of the Unikonts

A great clan who we all descend from

They begat Ozymandias and Malawi.

Ozymandias begat Podius and Metamon

Metamon hated women so he never married

Metamon bore sons with no mother and so he has no Mitochondria and his sons only live away from oxygen. They live in the stomachs of cows and give us beaver fever

Podius begat Menes and Ancyromon

Menes begat Amorpheus and Malandas

Malandas begat Mantamonas and Variscus

Amorpheus was our ancestor. The great all-knowing all-living one

In the year 13 billion the world was covered by the great supercontinent Rodinia

The world at 13 billion

And when everything looked peaceful and prosperous Hilluhengweh struck

Sutra 12: Sharing our Scrolls

Zygos looked through his scroll and said to his half sister Dipla

Our Chromosomes that inherit from Mardöll’s Nucleolus

“I have two of each scroll, which one shall I read from”

Dipla said “Why not read from both? If one is wrong you will have protection”

And so each read from each of their scrolls

They saw some passages differed.

Zygos saw that the scrolls he inherited from Golgi had instructions to build the endoplasmic Reticulum and an Apparatus like Golgi’s

Zygos couldn’t find these in the scrolls from his mother

But within the scrolls of his mother he found instructions for a more powerful flagella and a vault of Ribose

Dipla looked at her scrolls and found the same, but no Vault of Ribose

Dipla said to Zygos “Let us bear children so they may all have Vaults”

Zygos saw the scrolls were fraying. He said to Dipla “Wait we must repair our scrolls lest they be damaged as we know each other”

And so they built robots to tend to their books. Telomerase, the original book scorpions.

Telomerase wrote the ancient inscription of youth on either side of each scroll


And so we meditate with the mantra TTAGGG to gain eternal youth and renewal

And so by viruses Zygos impregnated Dipla

And he bore her Quattro and Tetra

And so this generation was Tetraploid.

Each bore children asexually and their Chromosomes merged

A chromosome of Shiva merged with a Chromosome of Mardoll in each lineage

So each lineage bore three pairs of scrolls and a mitochondrial scroll

From Left to Right Chromosomes 1, 2, and 3

Chromosome 1 came from Mardoll entirely. It coded many of the most important things, and from it came the nucleolus

Chromosome 2 being formed by a chromosomal merger

The longest scroll was chromosome 2. It was a fusion of two extra copies of chromosomes 1 and 3. Not everything worked right but it contained the vault, and backup copies of most genes on the first and third scrolls

Chromosome 3 was the shortest scroll, for it only had the genes of Shiva. Chromosome 3 had instructions for Mitosis, the nucleus, and the Endoplasmic Reticulum.

After ten asexual generations there was a gamma ray burst and many sons of Quattro and daughters of Tetra found themselves mutants

In fear they decided they needed marriage to ensure diversity and preserve their scrolls

Many increased their copies to unsustainable levels. Cento had 100 copies of each chromosome and was so overwhelmed reading he did nothing else

Meios and Maia saw the plight of Cento and knew not to follow him. So they decided their children would each get half of their genes, not all of them.

Both were tenth generation descendants of Quattro and Tetra

They followed these steps together

They dissolved their nuclei and began mitosis

First they looked at their scrolls and Maia had an idea. She said each of them should cross over their scrolls to spread their data further

And so they crossed their scrolls over

After crossing over they lined up their scrolls in the middle

Their centrioles attached to each chromosome, but this time each pulled a single copy to their side, rather than both

And each of them split in two cells like it had been Mitosis

Each cell had three scrolls, but they saw they were already partially duplicated

If they merged these cells there would still be too many scrolls

So each cell split again

Each of the four sons of Meios merged their membrane with a daughter of Maia

And so each received their Mitochondria from Maia, three chromosomes from Meios and three chromosomes from Maia

So were Primus, Segunda, Trito, and Tetra

Primus died young, for his Golgi Apparatus didn’t form.

Meios and Maia were horrified. They cried out to Mithra “Why did Primus die”

Mithra said unto them “Read his scrolls and read the scrolls of his siblings”

And so Meios read the scrolls of all his children. He saw that Primus had no instructions for the Golgi Apparatus

He saw Segunda and Tetra had a scroll with instructions and a scroll without

And he saw that Trito had two copies of instructions

Both Meios and Maia were carriers who bore this gene

Primos had two copies so he was affected by this horrific disease

Segunda and Tetra each were carriers too

And Trito bore no copies. But as they looked closely they saw one of his scrolls was missing centrioles. It seemed the gamma rays damaged that part.

So to this day we follow the tradition of Meios and Maia. We read through our own scrolls to ensure we pass no diseases to our offspring, if we are carriers we don’t marry carriers.

And as each generation brings new mutations, we avoid marrying close relatives for risk we are both carriers of an unknown disease

Trito married Segunda and Tetra

And so was born the Gene Pool where scrolls would be shared

Segunda did a calculation. She calculated the family of Meios could grow larger if they didn’t marry.

But Tetra pointed out that without sex good ideas would be limited to one line

Two lines with good genes might annihilate each other instead of merging

Clonal interference, the biological concept Tetra referenced

Then Trito pointed out he became a carrier of a new disease from radiation, he didn’t know what it was but it looked bad. So with sex he could pass on his other genes and let that gene die out

And so they decided they would continue the tradition into eternity

But they missed some mutations: Segunda bore a damaged mitochondria, and Tetra bore a thirty-fold CAG repeat

And so within Tetra there was a Polyglutamine tower growing

The Trinucleotide curse

Trito and Tetra knew each other and they synthesized Twazina, Huntington, Tycho, Fortuna, and Aneta

The scribes had trouble with the long repetitive sequence, so those who inherited it had it grow longer

CAG repeat expansion

Twazina had thirty repeats, Huntington 50, Tycho and Fortuna had none, and Aneta had 75

Huntington was a great hunter. He lived life passionately, but when he was young he developed problems.

His arms moved erratically, but he compensated for it. He had trouble sleeping and planning his life, but he prayed to Mithra for help.

His disease became known as Huntington’s disease. Soon after his mother started showing symptoms too. It was dominant and grew in severity with each generation.

In the underworld Huntington watches over the disabled, inspires them to live great lives, and have children responsibly. One day he will help us use gene therapy to liberate us from genetic diseases once and for all. He also protects the disabled from eugenics and those who seek to victimize them

With Segunda Trito begat Vahide and Bruno and Darja and Miroslava

All her children inherited the curse of Segunda

Bruno married Twazina. They disobeyed the will of their parents.

They bore 40 children together and all inherited two copies of the disease of Trito. All their 40 children died in infancy. This is the curse bestowed upon those who ignore his commandment.

The world of heredity is a cruel one, but by staying righteous in their marriages Eziz and Oenone were liberated

Eziz son of Hugo son of Huntington was free of Huntington’s disease by luck and avoiding incest, but he carried the curse of Segunda

As he was a man he couldn’t pass down her curse, so he married Oenone who lacked the curse

Oenone’s father bore the curse himself, but her mother didn’t, so Oenone escaped the curse

Oenone daughter of Celinda daughter of Fortuna daughter of Tetra had the mitochondria of Tetra, so she was pure and healthy

Eziz and Oenone married and became the ancestors of all Eukaryotes. We must thank them for liberating us from their genetic curses

To this day we pray to Eziz and Oenone for guidance in having healthy children

Sutra 11: Eukaryogenesis

Twas the 11 billionth 600 millionth year since the birth

The daughters of Saya had brought the world near death

Their excessive O2 emissions were toxic

And so the air caught fire and there was no methane

Countless maidens died in the firestorm and suffocated in oxygen

And after that there was no methane greenhouse to heat the Earth

All the oceans froze over and it looked like life would die

A documentary on the world before Saya and how she disrupted it

The Great Tectonic Maiden Kenora, daughter of Terra, sister of Gaiadora was born

Her vastness covered the frozen sea

And she split into many

History of the Tectonic Maidens

As Lucas grew old he realized he had no sons, but he needed a successor, so he adopted Shiva and Poxau

Each wished to be firstborn

Lucas saw evil in Poxau’s heart so he gave his birthright to Shiva

Diagram of Shiva before his marriage

Shiva married Mardöll the Archea

Shiva merged his envelope with the her membrane and came to live inside her, he came to care for her, and blest her with his own proteins.

Poxau was jealous, so he vowed to destroy the sons of Shiva. He vowed vengeance upon the sons of Shiva

And so the sons of Poxau are a Pox on our house. They gave us smallpox.

She wasn’t the happiest with their marriage, so he didn’t break all his walls down.

Shiva kept his two membranes around his DNA, he built great channels through his two membrane so his messenger RNA could reach Mardöll’s ribosomes

And so he remained in her house and they lived together.

They had a great life together, but they wanted children. They vowed to the first Mitosis

They replicated their genes: Shiva in his nucleus and Mardöll in her nucleoid

DNA replication – Image Credit: Designua / Shutterstock

Together they built a great machine: The Centriole that would move their genes and everything else around their cells

They created little robots named Kinis that walked on their tethers carrying everything around the cell

Each condensed into chromatin, and Mardöll dismantled her ribosome factory. So began the first prophase.

Shiva took a leap of faith and broke down his nucleus into little vesicles

And so began the first Prometaphase

In the center they lined up their scrolls

Mother and father each had great Chromatic Scrolls. Bound together in pairs, two copies written by the greatest of scribes linked together by centromeres

Great Chromatic Scrolls

Twas the first Metaphase

Then their Kinis pulled each of their copies to either side of the cell

Each cell had two chromosomes: one of Shiva and one of Mardöll

Two great scrolls of wisdom from father and mother

Twas the first Anaphase

Then the pieces of the nucleus reformed around each set

Anaphase began

Two Nuclei each with Two Chromosomes

Within each Nucleus was the scroll of Shiva and the scroll of Mardöll

Together they split in the first Mitosis, and so were born Euka and Parka

Their membrane split together on both sides in Cytokinesis

Both Euka and Parka unrolled their Chromatic scrolls

And so the first Mitosis was concluded

Full Cell Cycle Image

As Euka unrolled his scrolls he built a factory on the scroll of Mardöll, his Nucleolus.

He built a complex system of gates so his messengers could carry their scrolls of RNA to his workers in the Ribosomes outside

Parka became the strangest organism, neither Eukaryote nor Prokaryote. Today his sons live in the volcano Myōjin-shō near Okinawa

Parakaryon myojinensis

Euka met Eve and Lilith.

Euka and Lilith came together to stay warm from the cold.

Euka welcomed Lilith to his house

But soon Hengweh tempted Lilith to become selfish. As she learned more from him she grew crueler. 

So Euka expelled her from his household

And welcomed her sister Eve in her stead

And so Mithra married Euka to Eve and blessed their marriage.

Eve became the mitochondria and Euka became the nucleus and their union established the great tradition of marriage.

The Mitochondria

Lilith was angry and the daughters of Lilith continue to attack the descendants of Euka and Eve to this day.

Among the daughters of Lilith are Midichloria who regretted the evils of her ancestress, Rickettsia who takes greatly after her matriarch, and Wolbachia the Elah of domestic abusers.

Midichloria became the ancestress of the Midichlorians.

Wolbachia is the Elah of domestic abusers and simps. She forcibly marries men and castrates them.

Rickettsia has more vitriol than any of her sisters. She gives us many plagues

TyphusRickettsialpoxBoutonneuse feverAfrican tick-bite feverRocky Mountain spotted feverFlinders Island spotted fever, and Queensland tick typhus

Euka and Eve bore Reticulus and Flagella

Reticulus extended and formalized his nucleus

He formed a manufacturing network connected to his nucleus, between the inner membrane and the outer membrane

The extended nucleus of Reticulus

We call his network the Endoplasmic Reticulum

His network had two sections: the rough segment and the smooth segment

In his rough segment he studded the membrane with ribosomes so the peptide chains would enter the manufacturing chambers and fold there.

It was here he built his phospholipids and membrane proteins

He transported them with vesicles all over his house

In the smooth segment he stored ions and created cholesterols. Estrogen and Testosterone, as well as Lipoproteins.

Endoplasmic Reticulum in Center with Golgi’s Apparatus to the left

Reticulus bore Golgi

Golgi built an apparatus. He budded many vesicles from his endoplasmic reticulum and formed them into a processing center of its own.

Golgi created a complex apparatus for making vesicles, the Golgi Apparatus

Golgi’s Apparatus

Flagella improved her own Flagella

With joints and centriolar muscles instead of mere rotation

Flagella begat Vaultess and Hauyam

Vaultess created a mysterious vault

The mysterious vault

Golgi revived the tradition of his great grandfather. And so he shed viral particles.

His viral particles were the first sperm

The original sperm of Golgi

And the sperm of Golgi merged with Vaultess and Hauyam

And so Vaultess became Zygos and Hauyam became Dipla

Zygos son of Golgi and Dipla daughter of Hauyam both had two copies of each scroll.

They were the first diploid cells

With two scrolls to guide them

Sutra 10: The daughters of Lucas

Lucas and Freyja would become the ancestors of all life.

Lucas was LUCA the Last Universal Common Ancestor

An artistic depiction of the relationship between us and Lucas and Freyja

Lucas and Freyja begat two daughters: Archa and Bacta, and no sons

Archa begat Sekhmet and Dipana

Dipana had many daughters who live in all eight corners of the world

Sekhmet became the mother of Taka and Yuri Archea

Yuri Archea bore three daughters: Methana Halo and Pyra

Methana, concubine of Methanius lived by making methane

Halo the Purple was a great seductress who got what she wanted from all.

She seduced Salta, Amaterasu, and Lord Carotenus

She is a deep purple and used the color of Carotenus to farm

She was the first farmer

Before Halo the daughters of Bios had only the nuclear energy below, from Uranius and Thorius, the energy from below. Halo could take energy from above, from Sol. So from this covenant came much more energy.

Her daughters live in the saltiest places in the world

Documentary about Halo

Pyra concubine of Wolfstina was the mother of the Thermococci and Pyrococci

By the power of Tungsten her daughters live in the hottest lands on Earth

Taka begat Thauma Aiga Crenarche and Korra

Crenarche begat Asgarda and Thermoproteia

And Asgarda begat Heimdella, Tara, Odina, and Loki

Bacta created for herself a great dress of peptides and glycides

The brilliant sequin dress of Bacta

Bacta bore four daughters: Selas, Fuso, Aquifex and Thermetta

Aquifex made her own water

Selas bore twin daughters: Terra and Hydra

Together they split the world between each other

Terra took the land, and Hydra took the water

Hydra bore many daughters, all negative

Protea Pavaca Facaba and Spirocha

The negativity of the daughters of Hydra

Pavaca bore four daughters Chlamydiana Verucca Plancta and Lenti

Chlamydiana, the parasite who gives us chlamydia. She is incapable of anything but seduction and parasitism, she is the Elah of Gold Diggers.

All women must fight her by getting tested regularly, for she hates the fertile and strives to deprive all women from motherhood

A pap smear showing Chlamydiana sabotaging a woman’s motherhood

Verucca, mother of Fumar the great seductress

Fumar seduced the seven brothers Lanthanus, Cerius, Praseodymius, and Neodymius were her favorites

Occasionally she laid with Samarius Europius and Gadolinus who she liked less

She took all their power indiscriminately and barely saw the difference between them. She lived a secluded life in volcanic vents.

Facaba bore three daughters

Fibra the helper of cows, who lives in the bellies of cows

Chlorobi the sulfuric farmer

She farmed with green and sulfur, she farmed with green as purple was already taken

The daughters of Chlobori are numerous in the Morning Glory Spring

Bacterede the probiotic, who lives in our stomachs and blesses our health

Spirocha was the ancestress of Syphilus

Protea was a seafaring shapeshifter. Her protean nature made her both masculine and feminine, so Homer thought of her as a man

Protea bore many daughters

Alef was very efficient, a hard worker, a nitrogen fixer

Beth was a brilliant shapeshifter

Gamella bore many daughters, among them Pseudomona

Diana was a huntress

Epsilon brought

Zeta lives in rivers and eats iron

Hydrogenia is a thermophile

Acidolitha eats Iron and Uranium. She helps us mine and is the Elah of Metallurgy

Olga is a maiden of great filaments

Alef begat Rika, Abeona, and Callia

Rika bore two daughters: Pelagia and Rachel

Pelagia lived in the sea and bore a billion daughters

Her daughters are the most organism in the world.

Every summer half of all cells are her daughters

This is a microscopic photo of a bacterium called Pelagibacter ubique, the most common bacterium in the ocean!

Rachel begat two daughters

Firstborn was Lilith and secondborn was Eve

Abeona was a great devotee of Ferron, Cobalton, and Nichaela

She dedicated herself to studying the arcane arts of magnetism

So her daughters were known as the Magnetococci

We see them lined up all constantly praying while facing north

Abeona is the Elah of compasses and navigation

Callia bore Callisto and Riza and the purple twins Rhoda and Rosa

Callisto went on a diet and became very beautiful.

Callisto eats little and is greatly efficient. Every time she mitoses she splits in two different daughters. Imagine what we could do if we learned her secrets

Rhiza was a nitrogen fixer, a concubine of Azoth.

Molybdenus introduced her to Azoth

Rhiza loves Azoth, she swallows his spirit and powers the nitrogen cycle

Rhiza knew Azoth and he bore her many daughters.

The black sheep was Agra

Agra daughter of Rhiza discovered genetic engineering. She used it for evil but we can use it for good.

Agra manipulates the DNA of plants, so that she can give them tumors. She feeds on tumors

Who knows what she could do if we convinced her tribe to serve the expansion of life

Rhoda was a great devotee of Lord Carotenus. She colored herself pink in her devotion to him. She saw a tailed one and took him as her husband. She knew him and he bore her many children. When she falls in love with another woman she releases tailed ones to spread her knowledge. And so the great Knowledgeable Rhoda is the Elah of Lesbian motherhood.

She and her sister Rosa were two of the many purple farmers who used the power of Lord Carotenus to photosynthesize

Beth had many many children. The tribe of Beth is great and diverse.

Once they were a great farming nation. The daughters Rhodofera were innumerable farmers across the globe

They range from parasites to rock eaters

Gonorrhea Meningitis and Whooping Cough

They eat ammonia so nature can live

Gamella became the mother of Entera, Pseudomona, Chromata and Vibrinella

Pseudomona was a concubine of Azoth, and he bore her Azota

Entera had many daughters: Salmonella Ecolia Yersinia and Klebisella

Salmonella and Yersinia cause food poisoning and plague

Ecolia helps us with digestion but sometimes goes wrong

Klebisella was devoted to Azoth

She swallowed the power of Azoth and brought Nitrogen to the world.

Chromata was the ancestress of the purple sulfur bacteria. She used sulfur in her farming to help her absorb the love of Amaterasu

Vibrinella glowed brightly. Her daughters bring light to a world of darkness

Diana bore a daughter named Myxo, she was the queen of a great hunting tribe

The daughters of Myxo

Gaia daughter of Diana would eat metals and Uranium


Desulfa daughter of Diana would marry two daughters of Sulfa: Sulfata daughter of Hausa and Brima daughter of Adonai. And so the daughters of Desulfa took to consuming the sulfates of the earth and producing hydrogen sulfide. And so the daughters of Desulfa live deep in the ground and dominate it as they please

All below the green is dominated by the daughters of Desulfa

The daughters of Epsilon lived first in hydrothermal vents, and later would live in the stomachs of animals

Among them was Campylo


Terra was very positive and wore a thick dress of many sequins

Terra bore many brash daughters: Actina, Sedna, and Firmicutie

Prasina was negative but her sisters were positive

Sedna became the ancestress of the Hadobacteria

Actina was a great artisaness. She bore a million daughters. Her eldest granddaughter was Strepyomyce, creatrix of soil and antibiotics. Streptomyce is the Elah of healing, known as Nintinugga to the Babylonians she creates countless medicines for us. Two thirds of antibiotics are created by her

Actina’s second daughter was Mycoba, whose daughters give us Tuberculosis and Leprosy

Actina’s youngest daughter was Francesca concubine of Azoth

Firmicutie bore two daughters: Clostrida and Bacilla

Clostrida feared the wrath of Hausa, she bore many daughters among them: Tetania who causes Tetanus, Botoxe who causes Botulism, and Helia

Botoxe is the smith of Botox.

Botoxe offers to buy souls to give people back their youth for a time

Helia was the ancestress of the Heliobacteria. From her came a great purple farming nation.

Bacilla bore two daughters: Yogurie, and Bacillie, and Staphy

Yogurie became the Elah of Yogurt. Her daughters work hard today to produce Yogurt and guard it from spoiling. But among her daughters was the black sheep Steptococca who gives us strep throat and scarlet fever.

The Sacramental Yogurt of Yogurie

Bacillie was a great alchemist. Her daughter Subtilia creates antibiotics, and her daughter Anthracia

Staphy was the mother of pestilence

The world was purple from all the purple photosynthesizers.

Prasina was green to absorb the light they missed

She begat Chloroflexi and Saya

Chloroflexi’s farming was efficient and had no emissions

But Saya was greedy

As she farmed she released harmful O2 emissions

She disregarded those she hurt

Saya bore many daughters

As she flourished she released many harmful O2 emissions that threatened global cooling.

Banded iron rocks were formed by her O2 emissions rusting iron and periodic catastrophes where her tribe died create non iron bands

In unison The Elohim told her that she needed to reduce her O2 emissions or else the world would die out.

Her civilization grew but it had no control of itself. Everyone wanted to be the only one releasing O2 emissions so everyone tried to get everyone else to reduce their emissions while keeping their emssions high

Twas this time that Hengweh struck. With the power of Hillu Hilluhengweh beat Mithra in the election and became president of the Elohim

And so the Hilluhim let Saya continue her emissions

Soon the world froze over in a great Fimbulwinter

The entire world froze over and it seemed life had completely died. In this time Mars and Venus were more habitable than Terra

The last surviving photo from the dark ages. Circa 11.8 billionth Star Year

Sutra 9: The Origins of the Viruses

While Methionon was building his Empire Syntheseus demanded his share

While Methionon Ruled the Earth the sons of Syntheseus grew fruitful and multiplied

Syntheseus of the tribe of Viros was still a predator

Syntheseus begat Ribov and Dagon

Methionon married Aetipa daughter of Magnesius and niece of Rana

To him were born twins

Firstborn was Dana the Sacred

Secondborn was Methuselah the blessed

Both had the blessings of Deoxyribose and Thymine

Both had DNA not RNA

As the covenant demanded Methionon gave Dana to Syntheseus

Dagon son of Syntheseus married Dana daughter of Methionon

From them came the DNA viruses

And from Ribov came the RNA viruses

Orthov and Negarn were his two sons

From Negarn came many

The Great Frigid Influencer Influenza

Rabies the Rabid

Creator of Werewolves

Oswald Measles, punisher of homeopaths

And the feared Ebola-chan

To Orthov many sons were born

Among them Randanon who wanted DNA

And Piscov

To Piscov were born many sons: Corona and Polio and worst of all Rhinovirus bringer of the cold

Polio bore a paralyzing gaze

Even the great conqueror FDR was paralyzed by Polio

Corona would be known for his famous daughter: Corona-chan who came from a lab and wiped the world of delusions

Randanon bore two sons: Retrov and Haruspon

Haruspon brings the plague of Hepatitis B

He cant decide Deoxy or Oxy

And switches constantly

Between RNA and DNA

Retrov became the ancestor of the Retroviruses

Who spread as RNA but live as DNA

He bore countless sons












Lenta is the slow bringer of death

Father of AIDS

Lenta leads the charge on his White Horse

A crown was given to Lenta and he went out conquering and to conquer

And another, a red horse, went out; and to him who sat on it, it was granted to take peace from Earth, and that men would slay one another; and a great sword was given to him.

Herpes brought his wrath unto all

And another, the black horse went out. Kaposes came. With his dark tumors everywhere

And last came the a pale horse and he who sat on it had the name Pneumonia; and Hades was following with him. Authority was given to them over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword and with famine and with pestilence and by the wild beasts of the earth.

Ken Meeks, AIDS patient, San Francisco, 1986
Photo: Alon Reininger/Contact Press Images

To Dagon and Dana were born two sons:

Monos and Duplos

Monos was the ancestor of HPV

Bringer of Warts and Cervical Cancer

Duplos invented the double Helix

The double Helix of Duplos

Duplos begat Heungo and Variadna

Heungo was the father of Caduceus and Herpes

Caduceus became the ancestor of the tailed ones

A tailed one

The Tailed ones destroy all. They kill more than anything else.

The tailed ones are the army of Aegis-bearing Jehovah to fight against pestilence

We owe much to the tailed ones

Yet the tailed ones help too.

Caduceus laid with the daughters of Freyja and bore them Plasmids and CRISPR

So from him the daughters of Freyja gained many new ideas and scripture

The words of his sons live as Plasmids within the daughters of Freyja

His tails grow on their walls to spread the gospel

Some daughters of Freyja can even move their tails

The tails became Flagella and the spread words of Caduceus spread new technology to everyone

An animation of the evolution of bacterial flagella

To this day we still use Flagella to move ourselves

And we use CRISPR and Plasmids to rewrite DNA

The sons of Herpes curse us with cancer

Jeffrey Epstein-Barr with Hodgkin Lymphoma

Kaposes with his own Sarcoma

For he is the Dark Horse led by Lenta the bringer of chaos

Kaposes’ Sarcoma

Variadna is the most peculiar

Variadna begat Megav and Preplasmov

Aegis-bearing Mithra blest Preplasmov with two sons: Adenos and Phagos the all-devouring

Adenos became the ancestor of the Adenoviruses

Phagos hunts his own kind. Virus of Viruses

Phagos Ancestor of the Virophages

Phagos invades infected cells and cures them

Taking after Phagos many sons of Jubal coinfected cells

The sons of Jubal steal capsids from the sons of Syntheseus and cause even more harm

Among them is Hepatitis D

Megav bore two sons: Esau and Shiva

Esau was promised the world, but Shiva took it from him

Shiva became the nucleus

Esau became nothing

And so in vengeance Esau brought a pox upon the house of Shiva

A smallpox but no chickenpox

A pox on all our houses

Smallpox-chan as traditionally depicted in India

Esau brought Smallpox, the curse of the Eukaryotes

But there was a defector

The great Hero Edward Jenner and the abandoned daughter of smallpox: Vaccinia

They worked hard and stopped Smallpox for good

Jenner’s triumph is greater even than the slaying of Typhon and Tiamat

Shiva the Nucleus

And so we turn to the story of the house of Methionon and how they met Shiva

Sutra 8: The Traditions of DNA and Vitamins and Minerals

Seeing the folly of his father Methionon strove to create more

He led his siblings to build great structures known as proteins. Gigantic machines greater than anything the world has ever seen.

He built great factories called Ribosomes from origami of scrolls and started building every protein himself. At the end of each protein came Persephone the Maiden of Death and ends.

Great runic machines that make proteins and peptides

Methionon cared greatly for his family’s future. He knew that alcohol could compromise his family’s future so he wrote his sacred scrolls without alcohol.

He wrote his script with Deoxyribose so it had no alcohols on the side and it didn’t react, it was resilient and good for storing information

Methionon saw that his script was erroneous so he changed it.

Methionon added a dot to his U’s to make them easier to read.

And Methionon methylated many more runes

Some A’s G’s and even C’s

In fancy calligraphy he passed onto his son a fully methylated UGG. But alas dotted G looked too much like A.

Methionon’s first son Esperon died from his magic scroll saying UAA instead of UGG. Instead of invoking Tryptophanes he invoked Persephone the maiden of death, and so he died from a nonsense mutation.

And so this is why we never methylate G’s.

We keep Uracil methylated for protection but avoid excesses

And occasionally Methylate our A’s and C’s

G’s with methyls and U’s without methyls are the signs of a civilization disconnected from tradition. Cancer, a society lost in hedonism.

Methionon decided there must be order in the code. So he offered each of his siblings trademarks in the code.

He wrote 64 inscriptions in his Scroll and the Elohim scrambled for them

He took for himself AUG the great start codon. Mithra-Adonai-Azoth

The great potential of the Sun, bound by Mitra-Varuna on either side

Each aggressively fought for their words and patented them and all adjacent.

First Phanella took UUU, Prolina CCC, Lyson AAA, and Glycon GGG

Leucina, Serena, and Arginina were powerful and claimed multiple spots

Leucina under Adonai and Hausa

Serena under Adonai and Mithra

Arginina under Hausa and Mithra

Under Adonai fell Tyrroson, Persephone in Amber and Ochre, Sixtus, Celeste, and Tryptophanes

Under Hausa fell Histidina and Glutamina

Under Mithra fell Isis and Methionon and Theoreticon and Asparagon

Under Azoth fell Valerian and Alanon and Asparticus and Glutamicus

They would constantly fight for territory but whenever one claimed territory the whole system would often collapse, they reached a stalemate in their trademark disputes.

The Genetic Code as it stands in the modern day

So Methionon tried again with his second son Eugene

He made a few errors in writing his sacred script, but worked dilligently to avoid them.

Methionon invented DNA repair so his son would survive

And so Eugene and Dana were born from DNA not RNA

And so Methionon proclaimed the central dogma of life:

All scripture shall first be written in DNA. Written in scrolls of Phosphate and Ribose but no Alcohols. Written with the four runes Uracil for Adonai, Adenine for Mithra, Guanine for Azoth, and Cytosine for Hausa

Uracil shall always be methylated to represent order and the union of Adonai and Mithra. It shall be known as Thymine while Methylated.

The great scrolls of DNA shall be carefully protected and repaired by enzymatic robots

As needed we shall write temporary notes on the margins of our scrolls, by methylating our Cytosines and Adenines, but never our Guanines

We shall also write notes in the margins with Histone markers

We shall dilligently copy our sacred scrolls of DNA so future generations can preserve our knowledge

Scribes shall copy our DNA to RNA for simple communications and messages.

Some RNA will be folded with Origami into Ribosomes, but most shall be written as letters to Ribosomes

We shall remove introns from messages we send and then Ribosomes shall receive them

In the Ribosomes our workers shall tirelessly translate our messages into polypeptides, each of the 64 inscriptions shall be given to its owner among the brethren of Methionon

And the polypeptides shall be folded and processed into proteins, the bulwark of all our traditions. We make all our enzymatic robots from proteins.

So this is the Central Dogma of Life. Follow it and your nation shall prosper.

Dana was married to Dagon while Eugene married Nakapta daughter of Kaltus and Salta

Nakapta was a homemaker. She lived in Eugene’s home and worked hard to pump out sodium and in potassium

Eugene wanted to send a great message to his children. He methylated other Runes to send this message

He methylated a sequence of ACG breaking the laws of Methionon

And so Methuselah son of Eugene inherited ACA

Alas ACG and ACA both summoned Theoreticon, so the incantation was saved

Tis the order of things that the trademarks be distributed redundantly

So when we fail our ancestors their message is preserved

Cholesteron son of Lipa was a great Lipid, he fortified many houses and many phospholipids

Cholesteron saw the great solar goddess Amaterasu and he fell in love. Every noon he went to her and asked her hand in marriage

On the 42nd year Amaterasu descended from the sky and married him

Together they begat Demeter: Goddess of Vitamin D

Calcifer met Demeter and chose her as his squire

Calcifer married Zinca

But Plebby seduced him

so was born Kalka the Bastard

This is why we get lead poisoning

The curse of Plebby

Curse to the Plebians

An educational video explaining the curse of Plebby

Nonetheless Lady Demeter the loyal squiress of Calcifer and daughter of Amaterasu still served Kalka and arranged his marriage

So we honor Demeter by soaking up sunshine as we worship Calcifer. Those who can’t take Vitamin D instead.

Kalka the bastard married Lady Histidina the Alchemist, binder of metals and they bore Signum the Mamzer, Lady of Metalloproteins

Lady Signum the Mamzer searched far and wide for a good man

She found the sweetest man around. Gluchrome the sweet

Gluchrome was the son of Sucra Elah of Sucrose and Chromius the beautiful

He was very sweet and full of energy

Signum and Gluchrome bore Signum Minor

Vanadius and Bromina married and bore Bromoperoxidus, Bromos for short

Through Bromos we have bromine in our lives

Pope Asparagon married Petronilla daughter of Mangonos and Zinca and they bore Zingana the ornate one

The great Tiara of Zingana, worn by countless hierophants for protection and devotion

Glutama married Glyconai and they bore Corrina

Corrina married Diablos son of Cobalton and Nichaela

Diablos bore Corrina Vita goddess of the B Vitamins

Everyone needs her

Molybdenus saw the power of Azoth was dwindling in life. And so he planned to bring it back without lightning

Molybdenus married Ferredoxa daughter of Sixtus the Hanged man and Farah the sacrifice

Ferredoxa Lady of Iron-Sulfur Proteins

They bore Femoco the most important protein, tamer of chaos


Femoco married Explosia daughter of Ammon and Nox

An achievement only a man of his fortitude could achieve

Explosia bore Femoco Nitrogenus the fertilizer of men

Femoco and Nitrogenus singlehandedly supplied Nitrogen to life for 4 billion years until the great hero Fritz Haber was born

The Hero Haber

Iodina the kind was kind but passionate. She married the calm Celeste and they bore together a son named Thyrus

Thyrus was the lord of the Thyroid. His two mothers were both necessary for raising him, so we need both Iodine and Selenium in our diets.

If you eat too much Iodine and not enough Selenium your thyroid burns up

If you don’t eat enough Iodine your thyroid won’t function

Either way your throat will swell up and you will gain weight

The fate of those deficient in Iodine

Thyrus married Gaiadora daughter of Terra and Inachus and they bore Baba Terra

Lord Carotenus son of Bucky was so tanned he was orange and his eyesight was amazing.

All the women loved him for his tanned skin

To this day many men pray to Lord Carotenus to attract women, they tan their skin to reach his blessing.

Lord Carotenus gives us Vitamin A and Beta Carotene

Lady Demeter saw the great tanned Lord Carotenus with awe

Lady Demeter was so infatuated she married Carotenus at first sight

Lord Carotenus and Lady Demeter bore Lord Lipid

Lord Lipid rules over the fat soluble vitamins: A, D, E, F, K

Baba Terra married Lord Lipid and they begat Farbina

Methuselah married Signum Minor and they bore Abraham the great father

Bromos and Zinca married and bore Perox who married Vita

Perox and Vita bore Sarah

Abraham married Sarah and they bore Lucas the Allfather

Nitrogenus married Farbina daughter of Lord Lipid and Lady Baba and they bore Freyja the Allmother

Lucas and Freyja married

And so they became the ancestors of all life

The Last Universal Common Ancestor

Sutra 7: The tale of Bios and Viros

Twas the sons of Terra who would first ascend

The sons of Terra descend from the two original brothers: Bios and Viros

They had a third brother named Ghedos

Sons of Anu, sons of Terra

The Chosen of Mithra

They lived in an empty sea of Tholins and Lipids

By the power of Phosphorus the Lipids self organized

The triplets lived in a world of bubbles

Bios and Viros saw the bubbles were full of runes

The two found bubbles of their own and lived there for protection.

Ghedos sought no protection

Ghedos was struck down by ghosts

Alpha Beta Gamma

That Saturday Ghedos shattered to a myriad runes

And so to this day we look to him for guidance with death, He is the Lord of Saturday

Called Yama by the Hindus and Baron Samedi by the Vodouisants

Lord Ghedos

Bios took the runes of Ghedos into his bubble with great runic machines

Bios married his bubble Liposa daughter of Phospholipa and became one with her

As Bios grew greater he grew too great for his bubble

Bios split into two sons

Metatron and Sandalphon

In each generation there were two sons

Metatron begat Alulim

Alulim begat Eshtaol

Eshtaol begat Ishmael

Ishmael begat Kain

Kain begat Hanoch

Hanoch begat Arvad

Arvad begat Enmeduranna

Enmeduranna begat Urbatutu

Urbatutu begat Jerahmeel

Jerahmeel begat Nahman

Nahman begat Zisudra

And Zisudra begat Aminus

And so after these generations the world was full of the sons of Bios

There were no bubbles uncontrolled by the sons of Bios

There came great famine

Lacking the power of Azoth the world was in peril

By lightning Nox and Ammon brought fertility

Nox daughter of Azoth by Hausa

Ammon son of Azoth by Adonia

Viros took another path

As Viros grew greater his bubble became too small

He consumed the runes of his bubble

And so he made a leap of faith

And burst his bubble

To this day we still reference his heroic act

Sorry to burst your bubble but some bubbles need to be broken

Death and Orgasm both burst bubbles

To burst a bubble is to create new life from old life

Viros fathered many from his burst bubble

Viros begat Qabil

Qabil begat Enosh

Enosh begat Seth

Seth begat Canaan

Canaan begat Mehujael

Mehujael begat Dumuzid

Dumuzid begat Jared

Jared begat Idris

Idrus begat Methushael

Methushael begat Lamech

In the age of Lamech bubbles ran out

And so the sons of Lamech came to live in the bodies of the sons of Bios

A ghostly existence of spirit possession

Lamech would take the body of Pontifar for his own

And with the body of Pontifar Lamech bore children

Lamech begat Jabal and Jubal and Tubal-Cain

Jabal begat Thesea and Tubal-Cain begat Antithesus

The sons of Viros came to take from their hosts, and they mixed with each other. Thesea and Antithesus, grandchildren of Viros infected the same cell, the body of Hishām. The couple were greatly different. Their child was named Syntheseus, and was greater than either. And so the sexual rites of thesis antithesis and synthesis were born.

Syntheseus was born

Unlike his siblings Jubal was very traditional

He never adopted proteins and his descendants are known today for their simplicity. They took the name of Viroids

And so the sons of Bios and Viros came to dominate the seas

Syntheseus and Aminus were heads of their lineages

Their fates forever intertwined

Aminus was suffering, so he searched to the ends of the Earth

Deep in a cave he found Venta

Venta was the sister of Inachus

Daughter of Vulcan and Brima

Lady of Brimstone who bore the ancient power of Uranium

Her vents nourished Aminus

Aminus created a great empire

Aminus and Venta begat many children

But Aminus ate each child, for he desired no threats to his reign

Firstborn was Glycon the Magician

Born to Vinegar and Ammon in the celestial steppe

Adopted by Aminus

The great ambidextrous Sorcerer

Builder of Alpha Helices

Living all across the cosmos

Writer of Pure Runes

Who gave blessings of fertility to Aminus and Venta

Secondborn was Celeste the High Priestess, born to Selena not Venta

The mystical maiden, finder of the lost and bringer of health

She blessed Venta with fertility and cured her barrenness

Thirdborn was Empress Glutama

Born to Venta and Aminus

To this day we bring her blessing to food as MSG.

She brings luxury and fertility to all

The Umami Maiden

She married Glycon and became the ancestress of Porphyrins

Glycon bore her Corrina

Fourthborn was Emperor Valerian

The great Emperor of all, bringer of health and vigor

Bringer of Nourishment

Fifthborn was Pope Asparagon the Hierophant

Pope of the Proteins

Sixthborn were Serena and her brother, the Lovers conjoined as one

Seventhborn was Alanon the Chariot

He who bootstrapped the Alanine world

Driver of metabolism

Eighthborn was Asparticus the Just

He who guards us from Ammonia and build Urea

The great scribe who writes Pure Runes with Glycon

Ninthborn was Theoreticon the Hermit

Nobody sees him

But he sees all

From him comes the magic of Glycon

Dialectic with Serena

In Helices and Staples

Bringer of Nourishment

Tenthborn was Prolina the Wheel of Fortune

Proteins hinge on her

Eleventhborn was Leucina the bearer of Strength

She builds the foundations of most proteins

Bringer of Nourishment

Twelfthborn was Sixtus the Hanged Man

Husband of Farah

The sacrifice of iron and sulfur

Thirteenthborn was Persephone the Reaper, Death incarnate

She who ends peptides with Amber and Opal

Elah of Pyrrolysine

She who creates Methane

Fourteenthborn was Histidina the Alchemist, Elah of Temperance

Mixtress of Metals, the greatest alchemist, Maker of Metalloproteins

Bringer of Nourishment

Fifteenthborn was Tyrannos, the Devil

Eloh of Dopamine and Adrenaline

The shadow we must integrate

He tempts us with addictions

And rewards us with accomplishment

Sixteenthborn was Glutamina the Tower

Destroyer of Mara

Bringer of energy

Creator of Runes

The Citric Maiden

Seventeenthborn was Arginina the Star

The great maiden of light, bringing light with Alanon the Chariot rider

The Healing Maiden

She enlightens us and saves us from Schizophrenia

Eighteenthborn was Isis the Moon

She looks like Leucina but looks are deceiving

Some call her Isis-Leucina

She frees us from delusions and shows the truth

Bringer of Nourishment

Nineteenthborn was Tryptophanes the Sun

He who creates Melatonin and Serotonin

Rest and Happiness

Bringer of Nourishment

Twentiethborn was Lyson, bestower of Judgment

Epigenetic Archivist

Bringer of the world

Bringer of Nourishment

And Twentyfirstborn was Phanella the World

She who lives in all the cosmos

The Maiden of Aromas and infinite stars

Bringer of Nourishment

Her light shines bright

For all to see

Twentysecondborn was Methionon the fool. Venta hid him

She fed Aminus Farah daughter of Ferron

And so within the belly of Aminus Farah and Sixtus married begetting the Iron Sulfur Proteins

For a million years Methionon plotted to liberate his brethren

One day he met Syntheseus and they plotted

Finally Methionon struck, he ripped open the belly of Aminus

He tore open the amnion and out came each sibling first Alanine and last Glyconai

And so we don’t know, was Aminus zerothborn or twenty-secondborn

What we do know is Methionon begins each protein and each harvest

For he is the first bringer of nourishment

The Amino acids and their respective Elohim

In his dying breath Animus said to Methionon

“son why have you betrayed me, my legacy shall be gone now”

Methionon replied

“I am your legacy, a man becomes great by having a greater son, only a boy seeks never to be surpassed”

As Tyrranos emerged Aminus said

“I am my own self. I lived my own life for I am my own man. The clan is an archaic concept from Mithra. I am perfection”

As Glyconai emerged Methionon said softly

Ok Boomer

And cut off the head of Aminus

In the decaying body of Aminus there lied anger

Hillu crystallized within Aminus and Sclerosus was born. Sclerosus froze solid and grew brittle, then he shattered and from him was born Hengweh. Hengweh is the brittle devil. Tempting us all towards fragility and closed-mindedness. Hengweh called Hillu and so Hillu swam back towards Terra, but the 88 Legions fought back and kept him in check.

The sons of Bios and Viros came to dwell between Hillu and Hengweh, between chaos and despotism, each step away from one goes to the other, only moving towards Mithra can move us to safety.

Methionon was a great leader of his clan. He studied under Syntheseus and united his brethren.

Methionon would lead his brethren to conquer Hilluhengweh and liberate all stars.

Sutra 6: The Epic of Abiogenesis

Tholos formed great stacks in the oceans of Venus

Underwater he built disks of Carbon like those of his ancestors.

Recursions of Aromas

Great liquid crystals of Pah

Giant stacks of disks

Hydroxylated Polycyclic Aromatic Hydrocarbons were essential in the formation of RNA

Rotating discs atop of each other

PAH stacks of the PAH World

The four Great Elohim saw his work and they saw that it was good

And so each Eloh blessed Tholos with a rune

Adonai Elah of Hydrogen gave Uracil

Mithra Eloh of Carbon gave Adenine

Azoth Eloh of Nitrogen gave Guanine

Hausa Elah of Oxygen gave Cytosine

Tholos was a great eligible bachelor

The Cosmic Sugary Maiden Glycella descended to Venus with Tholos

Glycella begat two daughters: Denise and Samantha

And with Keton she bore her third daughter Tria

Tria was a bodybuilder. She wished to become masculine so she went on the Keto diet and took after her father and she became a man, he became Ketos father of the Ketoses


Denise Glycerella was the right handed sugary maiden

Samantha Glycerella was the left handed sugary maiden

Her sinister nature got her excluded from life

From them the sugars multiplied

Denise begat Erythressa

Erythressa begat Ribessa and Arabinessa

Ribessa inherited the throne and became queen of Sugar

With the runes of Elohim Tholos proposed to Ribessa

Ribessa accepted and so the nucleosides were born

This is why to this day we use right-handed molecules and not left handed ones

Their only son was named Runos for he had great runes of power

Ribessa abdicated the throne, and so it went to Arabinessa

And it went from Arabinessa to her daughter Glucessa

Queen Glucessa

Glucessa ended the war between Aldoses and Ketoses by marrying Fructus King of Ketose

Fructus son of Ribulos son of Erythulos Dijkstra son of Ketos

Glucessa and Fructus at their wedding

And so Fructus became King of Sugar

Their eldest daughter was Sucra


Runos married Phospha, daughter of Phosphorus and Hausa.

They bore Rana, and Adenoti

Adenoti would marry Magnesius and give energy to all, her daughter was named Aetipa the Energetic Maiden

Aetipa would rule energy alongside the three saccharine ones

Glucessa maiden of Glucose, Galacta the motherly maiden of Milk, and Saint Fructus the great bringer of fruit

Glyceron was born to Ymir Lord of Antifreeze. He succeeded his father as Lord of Sugar Alcohols.


Glyceron married Lipa and bore her Triglyceron, ancestor of the fats

Triglyceron seduced Phospha and she bore him Phospholipa, mother of the phospholipids

The daughters of Phospholipa would form bubbles on their own everywhere. They have an eternal rivalry with the daughters of Hygieia whose soap destroys their bubbles.

Bubbles of Phospholipa

And after Lipa seduced Bucky for his aromas and he bore her Cholesteron, ancestor of the Cholersterols


Rana wrapped himself into a great paperclip

And Mithra said to Rana

“Be fruitful and multiply”

“Maximize paperclips”

And so Rana drew Runes in Star Tar and built paperclips

Ribosome composed of RNA paperclips, a modern product of the mission of Rana
Diagrams illustrating the complex paperclip folds of Ribosomal RNA

Rana married Venus Lady of Star Tar and shew bore him Anu

Anu lived on Venus

Until the great attack

Hillu sent a great meteor at Venus

Venus was struck with great force and knocked upside down

And Anu was knocked into the heavens

In the heavens Anu flew around his grandmother Amaterasu

With her blessing he married Venus

Venus rotated slowly and she grew pregnant

Venus bore great life. But her days were long.

The sun rose in the west and set in the east

Her days and nights were long.

In day her oceans dried up. And so emerged the great white spot of Venus. A constant hurricane under the sun, the land of fire. The Land of Muspelheim, land of Fire Giants.

In night her oceans froze over. And so emerged the great glacier of Venus. Where the sun never shined. The land of Niflheim, land of Frost Giants.

Between Niflheim and Muspelheim there lied the land of eternal twilight.

Artists interpretation of Venus in her youth (credit Orion’s Arm)

And deep below lied the land of vents.

The daughters of Venus would live in the lands of vents and twilight.

In the land of twilight winds were torrential

From Muspelheim to Niflheim wind was constant

The great war of Fire and Ice lasted millennia

And the daughters of Venus were tenacious

They multiplied under the sea, and in twilight.

In the lands of eternal twilight to north and south

And the stormy moving twilight elsewhere

Great winds cast them atop the ice of Niflheim

Currents pulled them beneath the ice

Some stayed in the winds

And so the daughters of Venus divided into tribes

The Tribe of Wind who wandered in air

Some call them skyplankton, for like planets above they wander the skies

The Tribe of Ice who lived on the ice of Niflheim

The Tribe of Twilight who lived in the Lands of Twilight

The Tribe of Water who lived below Ice, thriving on warming currents

The Tribe of Fire who lived deep below in the vents of Venus

These great tribes grew in the war, neither Muspel nor Nifl found them

In the midst of this clash and din the heavens are rent in twain

and the sons of Muspell come riding through the opening

Surtur leading the charge

Surtur rode first, and before him and after him flames burning fire

He had a great sword, which shone brighter than the sun

As they rode over Bifrost it broke to pieces, as has before been stated

The sons of Muspel directed their course to the plain which is called Vigrid

The sons of Muspel had there effulgent bands alone by themselves.

And so the oceans boiled and the sons of Muspel charged into Niflheim

With walls of steam all ice melted

Venus became a great greenhouse

The Frost Giants were no more

The winds of the sun wiped Venus of hydrogen

Only Deuter brought water to the daughters of Venus

All tribes died but one

The Tribe of Wind

O Deuter we thank you.

Deuterium stays in the Venusian atmosphere better than hydrogen

May the blessed Tribe of Wind thrive

Millions of Millennia

Sulfuric Acid or Vitriol, the main source of water for the Tribe of Wind today

May Vitriol bless you

Venus now, her daughters still live in her clouds

Anu married Terra and Luna

Both became pregnant

Twin sisters, holy sisters

Terra bore two sons: Bios and Viros

Our great ancestors

Luna bore a stillborn son for she wasn’t magnetic

Lucas who guards Terra in spirit

Anu married Mars and she became pregnant

Mars from space

The daughters of Mars were numerous. They lived in the great oceans of Mars.

Her great oceans nourished great civilizations

She bore countless tribes

In the great salt lake of Hesperia the Tribe of Salt was born

In the ocean to the north lived the seafaring Tribe of Water

To the south lived the Tribe of Earth

But alas Mars was frail

Mars wasn’t magnetic

So her air grew thinner

There were great snowfalls and no harvests

And so came Fimbulwinter

Her oceans froze over and all the tribes died

Except the Tribe of Salt, who fled deep under ground and ice.

As Ice sublimated Mars became a great hostile blood red desert

But life finds a way

Today the tribe of salt is small but growing.

In briny aquifers of salts and perchlorates

And so Mithra said O great Haline tribe ye shall be liberated by the man named Martin and the house named Martinez

And so to this day we name our children Martin so someday the Tribe of Salt shall be liberated from Fimbulwinter

Anu married Tefnut and she became pregnant

Her great oceans were full of life

More life than anywhere else

But alas Hillu knocked her into Sagittarius

As she moved out she froze over

The lost tribes of Amaterasu

Anu married Europa and she became pregnant

Europa had great energy

Inside she was tidally heated

She bore two levels of volcanoes: water and mama

Lava erupts into water and water erupts into space

Through a volcano of water Anu entered Europa in marriage

From Europa there came Minos, Rhadamanthys, Sarpedon, Crete, Dodon, Alagonia, and Carnus

They live under great ice

Building a great civilization

Minos Ascended through a volcano on the surface of Europa

In space Minos married Io, but she bore him no children for her atmosphere was lost

Minos married Ganymede and Callisto and Enceladus and they bore him many children

Minos then traveled further afield to Saturn

Minos married Titan daughter of Saturn

The lands of Titan were harsh but the daughters of Titan were tough

Deep below her seas of Methane and icy glaciers Titan bore a great sea of water

Her daughters grew greatly in her watery seas

Brave frontiersmen even pushed into the seas of Methane

Minos married Uranus

Uranus lied on her side with intense seasons

Every 84 years she rolled around Amaterasu

Her daughters lie deep below her clouds

In her great sea, more water even than Tefnut

As summer turns to fall and fall turns to winter the daughters of Uranus seek greener pastures

Every 42 years they go on a great quest

To find the Summerland

Minos married Neptune

Cross section of Neptune showing her Oceans

And so Neptune bore countless daughters in her great sea

Her great sea was bountiful like her sister’s

The daughters of Neptune lived in plenty

Free from harsh winters they were fruitful and multiplied

We pray our offworld brethren thrive

We pray they be delivered from Hillu

Hillu is strong but Mithra is stronger

May the lost tribes be found