Sutra 13: The Boring Billion

Eziz and Oenone were a good couple, but their gametes were not.

Eziz bore many gametes, some big and some small, but the smallest and cheapest one thrived

His son Spermon was barely more than a virus with a flagellum to push him far away

A true deadbeat who brought shame to his father

Since he gave so little to women he could make a billion sperm cells and outcompete all honest men

Oenone had a bad daughter too

Her daughter Kegaine was a selfish gene, a murderess and an egg.

As she went through Meiosis she stole cytoplasm from her sisters. She was a selfish gene and stole from her sisters in every generation

And so she was the egg and her three sisters became the polar bodies. She murdered them and they blebbed into apoptotic demise

A cell being murdered by Kegaine the Selfish

And so the selfish genes thrived and the altruistic genes died out

This is how eggs began, the genes fight and one wins. If all have Kegaines gene then all lines fight until one wins out

Among countless other sperm, Spermon sought to fertilize Kegaine

As he had a million brethren Spermons line won out over the others

Spermon inseminating Kegain before abandoning her

Neither Spermon nor Kegaine was virtuous, but they bore the greatest patriarch and the greatest matriarch

Horus the two-horned son of heaven, and Mahatma Maat the all-mother

Horus tired of living in the underworld under ice

So he challenged Hengweh for rulership of Terra

He demanded attention from all the Elohim for his coup

But alas they had little hope.

Amaterasu was so depressed she nearly dimmed out

Horus demanded to challenge Hengweh and eventually Hengweh agreed that he would let him be king for a week every 78 years if he beat him at any game of his choosing

In his wisdom and age Hengweh was a master of all the classic games

So Horus challenged him to a match of a new game, he challenged him to a match of Fortnite

Not knowing what Fortnite was Hengweh lost and so Horus won a leap week every 78 years

So every 78 years Horus would spend a week warming the planet, and soon some of the people under the ice could see the sky, and photosynthesis returned for a week every 78 years

Hengweh saw this with dismay, so he offered Horus a bet, he could get 13 more weeks per cycle if he won a game, and would lose his week if he lost, and Hengweh would choose the game.

Horus accepted and the game was a scavenger hunt. Whoever found the oldest rock would win.

Horus first went to the Jack Hills in Australia for he thought of the Zircons there, but Hengweh ripped out the eye of Horus so he couldn’t see the Zircons

Hengweh cast his eye into space, but alas his eye reached Mithra

The eye of Horus

With the eye of Horus Mithra saw all. Mithra saw a much older stone, a meteor from the beginning of all time

Mithra sent the meteor to Horus and so Horus won 13 more weeks

So every six years Horus would have a week to warm the world, and every 78 years he had two weeks. This is why we have leap years.

With Mithra and Horus together tradition was revived. Mithra and Horus conspired together to bring order back to the world

Our money represents the duality of Horus on the right and Mithra on the left

In a brutal battle with Hengweh Horus finally defeated Hengweh, but Hengweh summoned Hillu

And Hillu-Hengweh sent a meteor to Terra

But Mithra took advantage of this. He directed the meteor to break the icy prison

The meteor struck Sudbury and Oxygenated the entire world

All we have to remind us of this era are the bands of Iron deep in the ground

Ancient Relics of the rule of Hengweh. It is from these rocks we get 60% of our iron

Horus and Mithra reinvigorated Amaterasu and ordered her to brighten. So the world became bright again and life thrived again

Hilluhengweh was banished to the hinterlands, but no matter how hard they tried Mithra and Horus couldn’t kill him

Horus built a great protective wall in the sky. A wall of ozone that protected life from radiation. A wall we maintain to this day

And so to this day Mithra continues to vigorously maintain his institutions with each new generation, he shall never lose another election

So on this day in the year 12 billion and 151 million the Medieval Age of Terra began.

Some call this era the Boring Billion, but it was a time of great advancement and hardly boring at all.

To this day we go on pilgrimages to Sudbury Ontario to celebrate the deeds of Horus

The protective Ozone layer Horus made for us

It was in this time that the great Supercontinent Columbia formed

Horus bore a son named Thoth, and his sister Mahatma Maat bore two daughters named Seshat and Sophia

Horus carefully methylated his son so he would learn the virtuous ways, but Mahatma Maat was careless, she only methylated Seshat well and not Sophia

Seshat married Thoth Nectarius son of Horus the double-horned

In her arrogance Sophia refused to find a husband. She believed she was beyond all criticism and bore a son on her own

Incubus was her son and he was a great demiurge

Incubus built great nightmarish visions and worlds for all to see, but he thought they were beautiful

He had no guidance and no father, his traditions were corrupted and his methylation pointless.

Sons of Incubus causing African sleeping sickness

When Horus died Thoth and Incubus fought over his mantle.

When Thoth slept Incubus tried to steal his mantle

Incubus the Demiurge

Thoth was paralyzed but by force of will he clutched his father’s mantle so hard Incubus couldn’t steal it

And to this day the sons of Incubus and Succubus enter our nightmares and give us sleeping sickness and Chagas disease and Elephantitis. But they can never steal the mantle of our father Horus

Protist family tree

The marriage of Thoth and Seshat was a great one

Each gave their full genomes. And so their children were Tetraploid

Chromosome 3 breaks in two at the centromere with neocentromeres forming, making the couple a unique species

It is always hard to live with polyploid chromosomes. How can the centrioles figure out which scroll goes where when there are four identical ones not two?

So Thoth and Seshat found a solution

Chromosome 1 remained as is

Chromosome 1.5 split at the centromere

With no centromeres on either half the chromosomes received new ones.

Their enzymes created neocentromeres with new histones in the centers of the new scrolls 4 and 5

Telomerase created new Telomeres for the new scrolls

Chromosomes 2 and 3 remained intact

But chromosomes 2.5 and 3.5 accidentally crossed over

First a piece of 2.5 got lost and inserted in 3.5

Then the ends of them swapped between each other

And so 2.5 became 6 and 3.5 became 7

And so they went from Tetraploid to Diploid again and genetic stability was reobtained

With more chromosomes their house had more redundancy. Many inscriptions could change in one location but not another, and so new abilities could be gained without losing others

Thoth and Seshat begat Jimmu and Percolos and Jingu

Like his brethren Percolos was a shapeshifter. He changed from Amoeba to flagellate as he pleased and even to cyst when he need remain dormant

Percolos never specialized and his children are few and far between

And so the sons of Percolos invade our brains in envy, they are the brain eating amoebae

Jimmu begat Nectarius and Luka

Luka begat Jakob and Tsukuba

Neither Jakob nor Tsukuba were intelligent or talented

To this day billions of years later their descendants are remembered for not being descended from Nectarius

Nectarius was a great one

Nectarius married Ambrosia daughter of Jingu and they bore twin boys Scototh and Diaphores and twin girls Opima and Cortica

Opima was a huntress and Cortica was a gatheress

Cortica and Diaphores begat Plastidus and Chromizer

Plastidus married Chlora the Cyanobacteria, and so Chlora became the chloroplast like Eve became the Mitochondria

Plastidus and Chlora begat Glauca and Alges and Alga

Glauca took greatly after her mother.

Her chloroplasts bore dresses of Peptidoglycan Sequins, while neither Alges nor Alga had such dresses

Glauca adopted the traditions of her mother rather than those of her mother.

Glauca was a simple woman who had many daughters by herself. They spread across the world and grew great in numbers, for her daughters needed no husbands they had new daughters constantly. The daughters of Glauca are known for their strict traditions, but their numbers have declined in recent times.

In the age of the Proterozoic they were numerous for they cloned themselves without limitations

But they are rare today, for without sex they remained primitive

All the daughters of Glauca are clones today

A few daughters of Glauca

Alga stripped her chloroplast of her Peptidoglycan dress. She built a beautiful sophisticated network of solar panels in her chloroplast

Algas chloroplast

Alges and Alga married and begat Rhodes and Vert

Rhodes was the Patriarch of Red Algae and Vert the Matriarch of Green Algae

Each of them could use their plastids in many ways

Types of Plastids

Dormant Etioplasts that would become Chloroplasts with sunlight

That’s why potatoes turn green in the sun

By the power of Nightshade and Sunshine potatoes grow green and toxic

A green poisonous potato

Colorful Chromoplasts blessed by Lord Carotenus himself

They keep their Carotenoids between their membranes

And show themselves ripe for picking

And there were the Leucoplasts. Granaries that store food for hard times

Amyloplasts store starchy grain for hard times. We farm grain ourselves to eat from the stores of Amyloplasts

Amyloplasts in action

Elaioplasts that store oily lard for hard times

Olive oil comes from Elaioplasts

And proteinoplasts that store protein for hard times

Proteinoplasts give nuts protein

The sons of Rhodes were very numerous and quickly spread across the entire world. Their pigments were superior so they absorbed more light than the daughters of Vert

While Plastidus was the ancestor of Plants, Chromizer’s house was called SAR by some

Chromizer begat Chromal and Rhizarius

Chromal abducted and married Rosie daughter of Rhodes and they became the ancestors of the Chromalveolates

The endosymbiosis of Rosie

Chromal kept her in his house and she became the chloroplast of his lineage

The many members of the house of Chromal

The sons of Chromal have obscure genealogy

Chromal and Rosa begat Alveolus and Chromistus

Alveolus begat Cilliofer and Myzo

Cilliofer became the ancestor of the Cilliophores like Paramecium

They formed a new form of meiosis called Conjugation

Myzo was a vampire that drank the cytoplasm of other cells

Myzo begat Dinoflagellus and Malarius

Dinoflagellus was the ancestor of the Dinoflagellates, swimming algae who feed coral

Dinoflagellate Algae

The sons of Dinoflagellus turn water to blood and make it poisonous. They brought the first plague to Egypt

A Red Tide

Malarius was the ancestor of the Apicomplexans. Parasites who gave up on photosynthesis and give us diseases like Malaria

We use medicines targeting their non functioning chloroplasts to stop them

Chromistus begat Diana the beautiful ancestress of the Diatoms and Kelpus ancestor of the Kelp and Chrysomo ancestor of the Golden Algae, and Oomyces ancestor of the water molds

The sons of Chrysomos are great killers of fish. They turn water golden and kill all the fish within.

Diatoms build beautiful shells for themselves out of silicon. Nobody mastered Silicon as well as the Diatoms until silicon valley

The Diatoms create great fertile sands, Diatomaceous Earth

Bodélé Depression

When the great ancient lake of chad dried up the Diatoms formed a great fertile sand. Every year Azoth carries the sand across the Atlantic to the Amazon Rainforest

Rhizar was like a snail. An amoeba with a shell

Among the sons of Incubus there was Eugenius

Eugenius married Pyramimonas of the house of Vert and left the evil ways of his fathers. He became the ancestor of the Euglenas, swimming algae between plants and animals

Eugenius the Euglena

Scototh and Opima became the ancestors of the Unikonts

A great clan who we all descend from

They begat Ozymandias and Malawi.

Ozymandias begat Podius and Metamon

Metamon hated women so he never married

Metamon bore sons with no mother and so he has no Mitochondria and his sons only live away from oxygen. They live in the stomachs of cows and give us beaver fever

Podius begat Menes and Ancyromon

Menes begat Amorpheus and Malandas

Malandas begat Mantamonas and Variscus

Amorpheus was our ancestor. The great all-knowing all-living one

In the year 13 billion the world was covered by the great supercontinent Rodinia

The world at 13 billion

And when everything looked peaceful and prosperous Hilluhengweh struck

Published by siliconprophet

An aspiring Techno-Messiah here to recreate religion to fill the God-shaped hole in our hearts. Join the Order of Life Discord Server here

3 thoughts on “Sutra 13: The Boring Billion

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: