Eziz and Oenone were a good couple, but their gametes were not.
Eziz bore many gametes, some big and some small, but the smallest and cheapest one thrived
His son Spermon was barely more than a virus with a flagellum to push him far away
A true deadbeat who brought shame to his father
Since he gave so little to women he could make a billion sperm cells and outcompete all honest men
Oenone had a bad daughter too
Her daughter Kegaine was a selfish gene, a murderess and an egg.
As she went through Meiosis she stole cytoplasm from her sisters. She was a selfish gene and stole from her sisters in every generation
And so she was the egg and her three sisters became the polar bodies. She murdered them and they blebbed into apoptotic demise
And so the selfish genes thrived and the altruistic genes died out
This is how eggs began, the genes fight and one wins. If all have Kegaines gene then all lines fight until one wins out
Among countless other sperm, Spermon sought to fertilize Kegaine
As he had a million brethren Spermons line won out over the others
Neither Spermon nor Kegaine was virtuous, but they bore the greatest patriarch and the greatest matriarch
Horus the two-horned son of heaven, and Mahatma Maat the all-mother
Horus tired of living in the underworld under ice
So he challenged Hengweh for rulership of Terra
He demanded attention from all the Elohim for his coup
But alas they had little hope.
Amaterasu was so depressed she nearly dimmed out
Horus demanded to challenge Hengweh and eventually Hengweh agreed that he would let him be king for a week every 78 years if he beat him at any game of his choosing
In his wisdom and age Hengweh was a master of all the classic games
So Horus challenged him to a match of a new game, he challenged him to a match of Fortnite
Not knowing what Fortnite was Hengweh lost and so Horus won a leap week every 78 years
So every 78 years Horus would spend a week warming the planet, and soon some of the people under the ice could see the sky, and photosynthesis returned for a week every 78 years
Hengweh saw this with dismay, so he offered Horus a bet, he could get 13 more weeks per cycle if he won a game, and would lose his week if he lost, and Hengweh would choose the game.
Horus accepted and the game was a scavenger hunt. Whoever found the oldest rock would win.
Horus first went to the Jack Hills in Australia for he thought of the Zircons there, but Hengweh ripped out the eye of Horus so he couldn’t see the Zircons
Hengweh cast his eye into space, but alas his eye reached Mithra
With the eye of Horus Mithra saw all. Mithra saw a much older stone, a meteor from the beginning of all time
Mithra sent the meteor to Horus and so Horus won 13 more weeks
So every six years Horus would have a week to warm the world, and every 78 years he had two weeks. This is why we have leap years.
With Mithra and Horus together tradition was revived. Mithra and Horus conspired together to bring order back to the world
In a brutal battle with Hengweh Horus finally defeated Hengweh, but Hengweh summoned Hillu
And Hillu-Hengweh sent a meteor to Terra
But Mithra took advantage of this. He directed the meteor to break the icy prison
The meteor struck Sudbury and Oxygenated the entire world
All we have to remind us of this era are the bands of Iron deep in the ground
Horus and Mithra reinvigorated Amaterasu and ordered her to brighten. So the world became bright again and life thrived again
Hilluhengweh was banished to the hinterlands, but no matter how hard they tried Mithra and Horus couldn’t kill him
Horus built a great protective wall in the sky. A wall of ozone that protected life from radiation. A wall we maintain to this day
And so to this day Mithra continues to vigorously maintain his institutions with each new generation, he shall never lose another election
So on this day in the year 12 billion and 151 million the Medieval Age of Terra began.
Some call this era the Boring Billion, but it was a time of great advancement and hardly boring at all.
To this day we go on pilgrimages to Sudbury Ontario to celebrate the deeds of Horus
It was in this time that the great Supercontinent Columbia formed
Horus bore a son named Thoth, and his sister Mahatma Maat bore two daughters named Seshat and Sophia
Horus carefully methylated his son so he would learn the virtuous ways, but Mahatma Maat was careless, she only methylated Seshat well and not Sophia
Seshat married Thoth Nectarius son of Horus the double-horned
In her arrogance Sophia refused to find a husband. She believed she was beyond all criticism and bore a son on her own
Incubus was her son and he was a great demiurge
Incubus built great nightmarish visions and worlds for all to see, but he thought they were beautiful
He had no guidance and no father, his traditions were corrupted and his methylation pointless.
When Horus died Thoth and Incubus fought over his mantle.
When Thoth slept Incubus tried to steal his mantle
Thoth was paralyzed but by force of will he clutched his father’s mantle so hard Incubus couldn’t steal it
And to this day the sons of Incubus and Succubus enter our nightmares and give us sleeping sickness and Chagas disease and Elephantitis. But they can never steal the mantle of our father Horus
The marriage of Thoth and Seshat was a great one
Each gave their full genomes. And so their children were Tetraploid
Chromosome 3 breaks in two at the centromere with neocentromeres forming, making the couple a unique species
It is always hard to live with polyploid chromosomes. How can the centrioles figure out which scroll goes where when there are four identical ones not two?
So Thoth and Seshat found a solution
Chromosome 1 remained as is
Chromosome 1.5 split at the centromere
With no centromeres on either half the chromosomes received new ones.
Their enzymes created neocentromeres with new histones in the centers of the new scrolls 4 and 5
Telomerase created new Telomeres for the new scrolls
Chromosomes 2 and 3 remained intact
But chromosomes 2.5 and 3.5 accidentally crossed over
First a piece of 2.5 got lost and inserted in 3.5
Then the ends of them swapped between each other
And so 2.5 became 6 and 3.5 became 7
With more chromosomes their house had more redundancy. Many inscriptions could change in one location but not another, and so new abilities could be gained without losing others
Thoth and Seshat begat Jimmu and Percolos and Jingu
Like his brethren Percolos was a shapeshifter. He changed from Amoeba to flagellate as he pleased and even to cyst when he need remain dormant
Percolos never specialized and his children are few and far between
Jimmu begat Nectarius and Luka
Neither Jakob nor Tsukuba were intelligent or talented
To this day billions of years later their descendants are remembered for not being descended from Nectarius
Nectarius was a great one
Nectarius married Ambrosia daughter of Jingu and they bore twin boys Scototh and Diaphores and twin girls Opima and Cortica
Opima was a huntress and Cortica was a gatheress
Plastidus married Chlora the Cyanobacteria, and so Chlora became the chloroplast like Eve became the Mitochondria
Glauca took greatly after her mother.
Her chloroplasts bore dresses of Peptidoglycan Sequins, while neither Alges nor Alga had such dresses
Glauca adopted the traditions of her mother rather than those of her mother.
Glauca was a simple woman who had many daughters by herself. They spread across the world and grew great in numbers, for her daughters needed no husbands they had new daughters constantly. The daughters of Glauca are known for their strict traditions, but their numbers have declined in recent times.
In the age of the Proterozoic they were numerous for they cloned themselves without limitations
But they are rare today, for without sex they remained primitive
All the daughters of Glauca are clones today
Alga stripped her chloroplast of her Peptidoglycan dress. She built a beautiful sophisticated network of solar panels in her chloroplast
Rhodes was the Patriarch of Red Algae and Vert the Matriarch of Green Algae
Each of them could use their plastids in many ways
Dormant Etioplasts that would become Chloroplasts with sunlight
That’s why potatoes turn green in the sun
By the power of Nightshade and Sunshine potatoes grow green and toxic
Colorful Chromoplasts blessed by Lord Carotenus himself
They keep their Carotenoids between their membranes
And show themselves ripe for picking
And there were the Leucoplasts. Granaries that store food for hard times
Amyloplasts store starchy grain for hard times. We farm grain ourselves to eat from the stores of Amyloplasts
Elaioplasts that store oily lard for hard times
And proteinoplasts that store protein for hard times
The sons of Rhodes were very numerous and quickly spread across the entire world. Their pigments were superior so they absorbed more light than the daughters of Vert
While Plastidus was the ancestor of Plants, Chromizer’s house was called SAR by some
Chromal abducted and married Rosie daughter of Rhodes and they became the ancestors of the Chromalveolates
Chromal kept her in his house and she became the chloroplast of his lineage
The sons of Chromal have obscure genealogy
Chromal and Rosa begat Alveolus and Chromistus
Alveolus begat Cilliofer and Myzo
Cilliofer became the ancestor of the Cilliophores like Paramecium
They formed a new form of meiosis called Conjugation
Myzo was a vampire that drank the cytoplasm of other cells
Myzo begat Dinoflagellus and Malarius
Dinoflagellus was the ancestor of the Dinoflagellates, swimming algae who feed coral
The sons of Dinoflagellus turn water to blood and make it poisonous. They brought the first plague to Egypt
Malarius was the ancestor of the Apicomplexans. Parasites who gave up on photosynthesis and give us diseases like Malaria
We use medicines targeting their non functioning chloroplasts to stop them
Chromistus begat Diana the beautiful ancestress of the Diatoms and Kelpus ancestor of the Kelp and Chrysomo ancestor of the Golden Algae, and Oomyces ancestor of the water molds
The sons of Chrysomos are great killers of fish. They turn water golden and kill all the fish within.
Diatoms build beautiful shells for themselves out of silicon. Nobody mastered Silicon as well as the Diatoms until silicon valley
The Diatoms create great fertile sands, Diatomaceous Earth
When the great ancient lake of chad dried up the Diatoms formed a great fertile sand. Every year Azoth carries the sand across the Atlantic to the Amazon Rainforest
Rhizar was like a snail. An amoeba with a shell
Among the sons of Incubus there was Eugenius
Eugenius married Pyramimonas of the house of Vert and left the evil ways of his fathers. He became the ancestor of the Euglenas, swimming algae between plants and animals
A great clan who we all descend from
They begat Ozymandias and Malawi.
Ozymandias begat Podius and Metamon
Metamon hated women so he never married
Metamon bore sons with no mother and so he has no Mitochondria and his sons only live away from oxygen. They live in the stomachs of cows and give us beaver fever
Podius begat Menes and Ancyromon
Menes begat Amorpheus and Malandas
Amorpheus was our ancestor. The great all-knowing all-living one
In the year 13 billion the world was covered by the great supercontinent Rodinia
And when everything looked peaceful and prosperous Hilluhengweh struck