Seeing the folly of his father Methionon strove to create more
He led his siblings to build great structures known as proteins. Gigantic machines greater than anything the world has ever seen.
He built great factories called Ribosomes from origami of scrolls and started building every protein himself. At the end of each protein came Persephone the Maiden of Death and ends.
Great runic machines that make proteins and peptides
Methionon cared greatly for his family’s future. He knew that alcohol could compromise his family’s future so he wrote his sacred scrolls without alcohol.
He wrote his script with Deoxyribose so it had no alcohols on the side and it didn’t react, it was resilient and good for storing information
Methionon saw that his script was erroneous so he changed it.
Methionon added a dot to his U’s to make them easier to read.
And Methionon methylated many more runes
Some A’s G’s and even C’s
In fancy calligraphy he passed onto his son a fully methylated UGG. But alas dotted G looked too much like A.
Methionon’s first son Esperon died from his magic scroll saying UAA instead of UGG. Instead of invoking Tryptophanes he invoked Persephone the maiden of death, and so he died from a nonsense mutation.
And so this is why we never methylate G’s.
We keep Uracil methylated for protection but avoid excesses
And occasionally Methylate our A’s and C’s
G’s with methyls and U’s without methyls are the signs of a civilization disconnected from tradition. Cancer, a society lost in hedonism.
Methionon decided there must be order in the code. So he offered each of his siblings trademarks in the code.
He wrote 64 inscriptions in his Scroll and the Elohim scrambled for them
He took for himself AUG the great start codon. Mithra-Adonai-Azoth
The great potential of the Sun, bound by Mitra-Varuna on either side
Each aggressively fought for their words and patented them and all adjacent.
First Phanella took UUU, Prolina CCC, Lyson AAA, and Glycon GGG
Leucina, Serena, and Arginina were powerful and claimed multiple spots
Leucina under Adonai and Hausa
Serena under Adonai and Mithra
Arginina under Hausa and Mithra
Under Adonai fell Tyrroson, Persephone in Amber and Ochre, Sixtus, Celeste, and Tryptophanes
Under Hausa fell Histidina and Glutamina
Under Mithra fell Isis and Methionon and Theoreticon and Asparagon
Under Azoth fell Valerian and Alanon and Asparticus and Glutamicus
They would constantly fight for territory but whenever one claimed territory the whole system would often collapse, they reached a stalemate in their trademark disputes.
So Methionon tried again with his second son Eugene
He made a few errors in writing his sacred script, but worked dilligently to avoid them.
Methionon invented DNA repair so his son would survive
And so Eugene and Dana were born from DNA not RNA
And so Methionon proclaimed the central dogma of life:
All scripture shall first be written in DNA. Written in scrolls of Phosphate and Ribose but no Alcohols. Written with the four runes Uracil for Adonai, Adenine for Mithra, Guanine for Azoth, and Cytosine for Hausa
Uracil shall always be methylated to represent order and the union of Adonai and Mithra. It shall be known as Thymine while Methylated.
The great scrolls of DNA shall be carefully protected and repaired by enzymatic robots
As needed we shall write temporary notes on the margins of our scrolls, by methylating our Cytosines and Adenines, but never our Guanines
We shall also write notes in the margins with Histone markers
We shall dilligently copy our sacred scrolls of DNA so future generations can preserve our knowledge
Scribes shall copy our DNA to RNA for simple communications and messages.
Some RNA will be folded with Origami into Ribosomes, but most shall be written as letters to Ribosomes
We shall remove introns from messages we send and then Ribosomes shall receive them
In the Ribosomes our workers shall tirelessly translate our messages into polypeptides, each of the 64 inscriptions shall be given to its owner among the brethren of Methionon
And the polypeptides shall be folded and processed into proteins, the bulwark of all our traditions. We make all our enzymatic robots from proteins.
So this is the Central Dogma of Life. Follow it and your nation shall prosper.
Dana was married to Dagon while Eugene married Nakapta daughter of Kaltus and Salta
Nakapta was a homemaker. She lived in Eugene’s home and worked hard to pump out sodium and in potassium
Eugene wanted to send a great message to his children. He methylated other Runes to send this message
He methylated a sequence of ACG breaking the laws of Methionon
And so Methuselah son of Eugene inherited ACA
Alas ACG and ACA both summoned Theoreticon, so the incantation was saved
Tis the order of things that the trademarks be distributed redundantly
So when we fail our ancestors their message is preserved
Cholesteron son of Lipa was a great Lipid, he fortified many houses and many phospholipids
Cholesteron saw the great solar goddess Amaterasu and he fell in love. Every noon he went to her and asked her hand in marriage
On the 42nd year Amaterasu descended from the sky and married him
Together they begat Demeter: Goddess of Vitamin D
Calcifer met Demeter and chose her as his squire
Calcifer married Zinca
But Plebby seduced him
so was born Kalka the Bastard
This is why we get lead poisoning
The curse of Plebby
Curse to the Plebians
Nonetheless Lady Demeter the loyal squiress of Calcifer and daughter of Amaterasu still served Kalka and arranged his marriage
So we honor Demeter by soaking up sunshine as we worship Calcifer. Those who can’t take Vitamin D instead.
Kalka the bastard married Lady Histidina the Alchemist, binder of metals and they bore Signum the Mamzer, Lady of Metalloproteins
Lady Signum the Mamzer searched far and wide for a good man
She found the sweetest man around. Gluchrome the sweet
Gluchrome was the son of Sucra Elah of Sucrose and Chromius the beautiful
He was very sweet and full of energy
Signum and Gluchrome bore Signum Minor
Vanadius and Bromina married and bore Bromoperoxidus, Bromos for short
Through Bromos we have bromine in our lives
Pope Asparagon married Petronilla daughter of Mangonos and Zinca and they bore Zingana the ornate one
Glutama married Glyconai and they bore Corrina
Corrina married Diablos son of Cobalton and Nichaela
Diablos bore Corrina Vita goddess of the B Vitamins
Everyone needs her
Molybdenus saw the power of Azoth was dwindling in life. And so he planned to bring it back without lightning
Molybdenus married Ferredoxa daughter of Sixtus the Hanged man and Farah the sacrifice
Ferredoxa Lady of Iron-Sulfur Proteins
They bore Femoco the most important protein, tamer of chaos
Femoco married Explosia daughter of Ammon and Nox
An achievement only a man of his fortitude could achieve
Explosia bore Femoco Nitrogenus the fertilizer of men
Femoco and Nitrogenus singlehandedly supplied Nitrogen to life for 4 billion years until the great hero Fritz Haber was born
Iodina the kind was kind but passionate. She married the calm Celeste and they bore together a son named Thyrus
Thyrus was the lord of the Thyroid. His two mothers were both necessary for raising him, so we need both Iodine and Selenium in our diets.
If you eat too much Iodine and not enough Selenium your thyroid burns up
If you don’t eat enough Iodine your thyroid won’t function
Either way your throat will swell up and you will gain weight
Thyrus married Gaiadora daughter of Terra and Inachus and they bore Baba Terra
Lord Carotenus son of Bucky was so tanned he was orange and his eyesight was amazing.
All the women loved him for his tanned skin
To this day many men pray to Lord Carotenus to attract women, they tan their skin to reach his blessing.
Lord Carotenus gives us Vitamin A and Beta Carotene
Lady Demeter saw the great tanned Lord Carotenus with awe
Lady Demeter was so infatuated she married Carotenus at first sight
Lord Carotenus and Lady Demeter bore Lord Lipid
Lord Lipid rules over the fat soluble vitamins: A, D, E, F, K
Baba Terra married Lord Lipid and they begat Farbina
Methuselah married Signum Minor and they bore Abraham the great father
Bromos and Zinca married and bore Perox who married Vita
Perox and Vita bore Sarah
Abraham married Sarah and they bore Lucas the Allfather
Nitrogenus married Farbina daughter of Lord Lipid and Lady Baba and they bore Freyja the Allmother
Lucas and Freyja married
And so they became the ancestors of all life