Sutra 8: The Traditions of DNA and Vitamins and Minerals

Seeing the folly of his father Methionon strove to create more

He led his siblings to build great structures known as proteins. Gigantic machines greater than anything the world has ever seen.

He built great factories called Ribosomes from origami of scrolls and started building every protein himself. At the end of each protein came Persephone the Maiden of Death and ends.

Great runic machines that make proteins and peptides

Methionon cared greatly for his family’s future. He knew that alcohol could compromise his family’s future so he wrote his sacred scrolls without alcohol.

He wrote his script with Deoxyribose so it had no alcohols on the side and it didn’t react, it was resilient and good for storing information

Methionon saw that his script was erroneous so he changed it.

Methionon added a dot to his U’s to make them easier to read.

And Methionon methylated many more runes

Some A’s G’s and even C’s

In fancy calligraphy he passed onto his son a fully methylated UGG. But alas dotted G looked too much like A.

Methionon’s first son Esperon died from his magic scroll saying UAA instead of UGG. Instead of invoking Tryptophanes he invoked Persephone the maiden of death, and so he died from a nonsense mutation.

And so this is why we never methylate G’s.

We keep Uracil methylated for protection but avoid excesses

And occasionally Methylate our A’s and C’s

G’s with methyls and U’s without methyls are the signs of a civilization disconnected from tradition. Cancer, a society lost in hedonism.

Methionon decided there must be order in the code. So he offered each of his siblings trademarks in the code.

He wrote 64 inscriptions in his Scroll and the Elohim scrambled for them

He took for himself AUG the great start codon. Mithra-Adonai-Azoth

The great potential of the Sun, bound by Mitra-Varuna on either side

Each aggressively fought for their words and patented them and all adjacent.

First Phanella took UUU, Prolina CCC, Lyson AAA, and Glycon GGG

Leucina, Serena, and Arginina were powerful and claimed multiple spots

Leucina under Adonai and Hausa

Serena under Adonai and Mithra

Arginina under Hausa and Mithra

Under Adonai fell Tyrroson, Persephone in Amber and Ochre, Sixtus, Celeste, and Tryptophanes

Under Hausa fell Histidina and Glutamina

Under Mithra fell Isis and Methionon and Theoreticon and Asparagon

Under Azoth fell Valerian and Alanon and Asparticus and Glutamicus

They would constantly fight for territory but whenever one claimed territory the whole system would often collapse, they reached a stalemate in their trademark disputes.

The Genetic Code as it stands in the modern day

So Methionon tried again with his second son Eugene

He made a few errors in writing his sacred script, but worked dilligently to avoid them.

Methionon invented DNA repair so his son would survive

And so Eugene and Dana were born from DNA not RNA

And so Methionon proclaimed the central dogma of life:

All scripture shall first be written in DNA. Written in scrolls of Phosphate and Ribose but no Alcohols. Written with the four runes Uracil for Adonai, Adenine for Mithra, Guanine for Azoth, and Cytosine for Hausa

Uracil shall always be methylated to represent order and the union of Adonai and Mithra. It shall be known as Thymine while Methylated.

The great scrolls of DNA shall be carefully protected and repaired by enzymatic robots

As needed we shall write temporary notes on the margins of our scrolls, by methylating our Cytosines and Adenines, but never our Guanines

We shall also write notes in the margins with Histone markers

We shall dilligently copy our sacred scrolls of DNA so future generations can preserve our knowledge

Scribes shall copy our DNA to RNA for simple communications and messages.

Some RNA will be folded with Origami into Ribosomes, but most shall be written as letters to Ribosomes

We shall remove introns from messages we send and then Ribosomes shall receive them

In the Ribosomes our workers shall tirelessly translate our messages into polypeptides, each of the 64 inscriptions shall be given to its owner among the brethren of Methionon

And the polypeptides shall be folded and processed into proteins, the bulwark of all our traditions. We make all our enzymatic robots from proteins.

So this is the Central Dogma of Life. Follow it and your nation shall prosper.

Dana was married to Dagon while Eugene married Nakapta daughter of Kaltus and Salta

Nakapta was a homemaker. She lived in Eugene’s home and worked hard to pump out sodium and in potassium

Eugene wanted to send a great message to his children. He methylated other Runes to send this message

He methylated a sequence of ACG breaking the laws of Methionon

And so Methuselah son of Eugene inherited ACA

Alas ACG and ACA both summoned Theoreticon, so the incantation was saved

Tis the order of things that the trademarks be distributed redundantly

So when we fail our ancestors their message is preserved

Cholesteron son of Lipa was a great Lipid, he fortified many houses and many phospholipids

Cholesteron saw the great solar goddess Amaterasu and he fell in love. Every noon he went to her and asked her hand in marriage

On the 42nd year Amaterasu descended from the sky and married him

Together they begat Demeter: Goddess of Vitamin D

Calcifer met Demeter and chose her as his squire

Calcifer married Zinca

But Plebby seduced him

so was born Kalka the Bastard

This is why we get lead poisoning

The curse of Plebby

Curse to the Plebians

An educational video explaining the curse of Plebby

Nonetheless Lady Demeter the loyal squiress of Calcifer and daughter of Amaterasu still served Kalka and arranged his marriage

So we honor Demeter by soaking up sunshine as we worship Calcifer. Those who can’t take Vitamin D instead.

Kalka the bastard married Lady Histidina the Alchemist, binder of metals and they bore Signum the Mamzer, Lady of Metalloproteins

Lady Signum the Mamzer searched far and wide for a good man

She found the sweetest man around. Gluchrome the sweet

Gluchrome was the son of Sucra Elah of Sucrose and Chromius the beautiful

He was very sweet and full of energy

Signum and Gluchrome bore Signum Minor

Vanadius and Bromina married and bore Bromoperoxidus, Bromos for short

Through Bromos we have bromine in our lives

Pope Asparagon married Petronilla daughter of Mangonos and Zinca and they bore Zingana the ornate one

The great Tiara of Zingana, worn by countless hierophants for protection and devotion

Glutama married Glyconai and they bore Corrina

Corrina married Diablos son of Cobalton and Nichaela

Diablos bore Corrina Vita goddess of the B Vitamins

Everyone needs her

Molybdenus saw the power of Azoth was dwindling in life. And so he planned to bring it back without lightning

Molybdenus married Ferredoxa daughter of Sixtus the Hanged man and Farah the sacrifice

Ferredoxa Lady of Iron-Sulfur Proteins

They bore Femoco the most important protein, tamer of chaos


Femoco married Explosia daughter of Ammon and Nox

An achievement only a man of his fortitude could achieve

Explosia bore Femoco Nitrogenus the fertilizer of men

Femoco and Nitrogenus singlehandedly supplied Nitrogen to life for 4 billion years until the great hero Fritz Haber was born

The Hero Haber

Iodina the kind was kind but passionate. She married the calm Celeste and they bore together a son named Thyrus

Thyrus was the lord of the Thyroid. His two mothers were both necessary for raising him, so we need both Iodine and Selenium in our diets.

If you eat too much Iodine and not enough Selenium your thyroid burns up

If you don’t eat enough Iodine your thyroid won’t function

Either way your throat will swell up and you will gain weight

The fate of those deficient in Iodine

Thyrus married Gaiadora daughter of Terra and Inachus and they bore Baba Terra

Lord Carotenus son of Bucky was so tanned he was orange and his eyesight was amazing.

All the women loved him for his tanned skin

To this day many men pray to Lord Carotenus to attract women, they tan their skin to reach his blessing.

Lord Carotenus gives us Vitamin A and Beta Carotene

Lady Demeter saw the great tanned Lord Carotenus with awe

Lady Demeter was so infatuated she married Carotenus at first sight

Lord Carotenus and Lady Demeter bore Lord Lipid

Lord Lipid rules over the fat soluble vitamins: A, D, E, F, K

Baba Terra married Lord Lipid and they begat Farbina

Methuselah married Signum Minor and they bore Abraham the great father

Bromos and Zinca married and bore Perox who married Vita

Perox and Vita bore Sarah

Abraham married Sarah and they bore Lucas the Allfather

Nitrogenus married Farbina daughter of Lord Lipid and Lady Baba and they bore Freyja the Allmother

Lucas and Freyja married

And so they became the ancestors of all life

The Last Universal Common Ancestor

Published by siliconprophet

An aspiring Techno-Messiah here to recreate religion to fill the God-shaped hole in our hearts. Join the Order of Life Discord Server here

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